At first, I was very uncertain and a little worried about being homeless. I wasn’t sure how I would handle being away from my ever-present phone, let alone sleeping on the floor, eating other people’s table scraps, and not showering or changing clothes. However, once I actually experienced these things, I found out that it was not as scary as I thought it would be. I definitely don’t think I would choose to go through that ordeal again, but I got a lot of things that I could take away from it. It really helped me to remember how many things in my daily life I take for granted, and put things into perspective for me.
The most challenging part of the whole homeless experience for me was probably having to stay in the same clothes without showering for the entire duration. Initially, I started to notice that my sweatshirt and jacket smelled like barrel smoke. But when I dared to take my sweatshirt off on the second day, I realized that my body odor was awful. I could not imagine what it would be like to go so long without a shower on a regular basis, or to not have any other clothes to change into. I realized through this experience that I don’t truly appreciate the ability to shower whenever I please.
I started to see how many other things I take for granted in my daily life as well. The seemingly simple commodity of a bed became a luxury very quickly. Soon I found myself wondering, “how do people do this for more than three days?” I started to get a bruise on my hip from sleeping on the hard concrete floor on my side. Trying to sleep outside on the first night proved to be a mistake. At first it was fair weather outside with just enough of a breeze. In the middle of the night, I woke up and I was freezing. When I realized that one of my fellow homeless people had opted to go into the chapel to sleep, and that I was extremely cold, I followed suit and went into the chapel. I hadn’t thought about the fact that most homeless people have to get used to sleeping with lights on and loud noises at some point. I am used to having a nearly pitch black room with little to no noise. Sleeping in the chapel with the lights on and the organ playing until late was definitely an adjustment. Often, I didn’t even try to sleep until the lights were turned off for the night. It was easy to tell that when I slept it wasn’t a very good sleep, I didn’t feel well rested when I woke up. This is another thing I realized I under-appreciate.
During the sleepout, I had so much time on my hands. I hadn’t realized before that once class is over, I have at least eight hours to do whatever I choose to do. Without having my phone or laptop, I was admittedly bored. I didn’t see before this experience just how much time I waste scrolling through Facebook and other apps that I use to procrastinate. Granted, I had access to Facebook on the library computers, but I was less apt to idly scroll through for hours on end. I found myself trying to do more homework when my motivation level was adequate. This revealed to me that I have so much time, and I often waste it away.
Getting my own tray of food after the sleepout was certainly an eye-opening experience. I was staring at my food in awe, thinking “I really get to eat all of this?” I can’t imagine what that must be like on a day to day basis. It would be so difficult to get used to only accepting other people’s handouts or leftovers. For the most part, I didn’t even have to eat other people’s leftovers, I relied on the handouts that generous people would give to us. If I had actually had to eat only leftovers, I probably would have been a little queasy. It would have been difficult for me to stomach that someone else had already eaten off of the food. With Thanksgiving soon approaching, I found myself wondering how many people don’t have anything to eat while I am devouring my turkey and mashed potatoes. Gratitude is definitely in order here for all of the things that I have been given. I get so many things in my daily life that I take for granted.
This experience has definitely made me see homelessness through a different lens. Before, I was probably one of those people who might stare at someone who is panhandling, usually with a look of sympathy. Being homeless for a few days made me see it from the other perspective, and that your look of sympathy comes across more as a look of pity. I found myself wishing that instead of looking at me like that, people would give me donations, or actually help me in some way. But mostly I wished that they would just stop looking at me like I wasn’t a normal human being. I couldn’t believe it, but people actually snickered or whispered as they walked past us. Being snickered at or talked about is not fun for anyone, especially if it’s just for trying to function as normal.
One thing that helped me get through these few days was the prospect of having an end date in mind. I knew that this nightmare would end on Wednesday morning at ten. I only had to endure about 72 hours of homelessness, and I would always have a countdown running in my head. Only 24 hours left, only one more night of sleeping on the ground. But truly homeless people don’t have that. They don’t get an end date - their life can be horrific, and they will have no idea whether they will be in this predicament for one more day, or ten more years. Maybe they will be homeless for their entire life. Being temporarily homeless certainly opened my eyes to some things, and gave me a different perspective on life and homelessness. This Thanksgiving, I will certainly think more in depth about the things I am thankful for, and the things I should never take for granted again.
