The Surprising Response My Brothers Had When I Told Them I Had Anixety

The Surprising Response My Brothers Had When I Told Them I Had Anixety

It was the best surprise I could have asked for.

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I have been struggling with anixety and depression since I was in seventh grade, and I never wanted to tell my brothers. My thought process was that they had enough going on in their lives and didn't need to worry about having a sister with issues.

One night, my family had a birthday party, and I started to have a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, I cried, and I was shaking. It was awful. Well, one thing lead to another and my sister in laws thought I blamed them, and it started to cause issues with our family.

When it started to affect my mom and my dad's relationship with my brothers, I knew I had to do something about it. So, I text my brothers. I laid it all out there how I didn't feel love or that I belonged, how I felt they only tolerated me out of obligation, how I get I was a freak. I had to wait three hours for a response from my brothers. It made me so sick to my stomach waiting, I couldn't handle it.

Finally, my oldest two brothers emailed me. They made me feel loved. They made me happy. They made me know that I wasn't alone. I felt like I finally had a family who understood. And, they told my sister-in-laws how I was, and they finally understood. I felt like the family.

It wasn't the response I was expecting, but it was the biggest blessing, and I have never felt so close to my family before.

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A Letter To My Sisters

As my little sisters' birthday draws near, I thought I would write them a letter about what it's been like to their big sister.

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Dear B and C,

I cannot begin to tell you guys how much I love you. You two have changed my life in more ways than you know. I am so lucky to have sisters like you and I don't know what I would do without you. We may drive each other crazy but it's with love.

Happy 15th birthday. I cannot believe my little sisters are 15. Because I was almost five when you two were born, I only have vague memories. However, I remember being so excited to meet you two. Dad and I raced down this hill from the parking lot to the hospital doors and then we walked into mom's hospital room. She had this doctor's kit which was "from" you two. I don't remember much after that, but I remember helping Mom and Dad out around the house, grabbing bottles, bibs, diapers and other things. You two turned our house upside down but in the greatest way. I finally had two people to brag about, two people to play with, two people to blame stuff on, and it was great.

I want you to know how proud I am of you two. The things you have done and accomplished are amazing. I can't wait to see what you will do in the future. I have loved going to your many softball/basketball games and other sports that I can't keep track or don't understand. I love seeing you sing throughout much of your lives, most recently with the Nightingales. Even though I have been away at school and have had to miss some of these events, I very much enjoy hearing about them.

I love being your big sister. I love being with you, going to your games, going on vacations, or just having dinner together. We always have something to laugh about. I like that I can be there for you if there is a problem or you need advice. I am always going to look out for you so get used to it.

I am so lucky to have sisters like you. I love you so much.

Happy Birthday!

Love, Maddie

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For The Little Brother Who Grew Up When You Weren't Looking

No matter how grown up we are, you will always be my little brother and I will always be your big sister.

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When we were younger, it was so much easier to see you as my baby brother. I think it is because you were so little and innocent. I will always think of you like the tiny little boy with big brown eyes. I always have felt the need to protect you, but I think that is just part of being a big sister. I would get so mad if I heard anyone being mean to you. Nobody was allowed to be mean to my little brother except me because let's be honest I was probably the meanest person to you, but that is also just part of being a big sister.

If I am being completely honest, my favorite thing about you was the fact that you did EVERYTHING that I told you to do; you were like my little robot. Somewhere along the way, you decided to grow up. You went from being a foot shorter than me to a foot taller and I realized you didn't need me to protect you anymore. In fact, it went from me protecting you to you protecting me. What is the worst part of you growing up? The fact that you don't do ANYTHING I say anymore!

Being able to watch you grow up into your own person has been the most amazing experience. At some point, as we were growing up you went from my little brother to my best friend. When we were little we did everything together because we had to, but now we do it because we want to. It was hard going away to college because I had to go from seeing you every day to seeing you every few weeks. It is even harder now that you're in college because I see you even less now.

Being your big sister has made the best version of myself. I have always strived to be the person that you can be proud to call your big sister. You have always been my biggest supporter, you always listen to all my crazy ideas and tell me if they get too crazy. You aren't afraid to tell me the truth when I really need to hear it. Sometimes it feels like you are the older sibling because I find myself coming to you for advice; you always know what to say and when to say it. Thank you for reminding me of my self worth and reminding me of what I deserve in life. I am forever grateful that God blessed me with a little brother like you. You are my sunshine, I love you to the moon and back.

P.S. I also just wanted to say that you are so lucky to have me as your sister. I may have been a little mean to you, but it gave you character. If you didn't have me to teach you how to treat a girl you would be single for the rest of your life, so you're welcome for that.

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