Most girls have experienced a time when a friend was getting involved with a guy who is just straight up bad news. The guy that only texts her “you up?” at 2 a.m. or “come over” after a night of partying.

The guy that would never be seen with her in public and does not care the slightest bit about anything that has to do with her interests, family, future, talents, or anything else that really matters. The kind of guy that is probably talking to her along with 12 other girls at once.

So what do you tell a friend who is going through this? The friend that complains about this guy every single day and has said at least 17 times before “I’m really done with him this time” but you never blink an eye because she always goes back.

Nothing. The answer is that you tell her nothing.

Based on personal experience, I have learned there is nothing you can tell this friend to help her understand. You can make it clear that you are there for her to listen to her vent and show her support, but she needs to figure it out for herself how to handle the situation.

She will likely never listen to you when you say to stop texting him back and to have nothing to do with him. She will probably nod and agree and then text him back an hour later because the sad reality is, she probably really likes this guy.

She has feelings for him because at certain times on certain days, he actually acts like he genuinely likes her. A good 85% of the time he will treat her like trash, but that 15% is what keeps her hopeful that he might feel the same way she does and makes her keep going back to him.

You realize that his intentions are not the best, and it is clear he does not feel the same way she does, but she doesn’t see this (or she does but doesn’t want to admit it).

With that being said, she needs to see for herself the kind of guy he really is. She wants to see the best in him. You can tell her 100 times all the bad qualities he has and why she should cut him off, but she will still only see the good ones.

Give her time. Be there for her. Eventually, she will reach her breaking point and realize he is not the guy for her. Until then, just patiently listen to her complaining. Trust me, I know it can be annoying, but it is all part of the process.

When she does reach that point, it is even more important to be there. Comfort her. Take her out. Introduce her to cute, NICE boys. Help her see her worth. Let her know you love her and help her understand she deserves so much more than the guy who can’t go 30 seconds without saying “bro”.

Be a friend for her, but remember the one thing you should never EVER say to your friend who is talking to a tool is “I told you so”.