As a high school student, it was only within the last few days that I received my list of school supplies from my teachers. My brother who's in elementary school has had his since early July, which means he and every other little kid got to capitalize on all the back-to-school deals and sales, while us high school students now are comparing our lists with the picked-over piles of Sharpies and Sticky-Notes with a familiar sense of dread unique to the start of the school year.
School Shopping:Expectations vs. Reality
1. The "Oh, this will be quick and easy" Stage
Expectation: Easy, breezy, beautiful. A quick pop into your local Target, Walmart, NEX and you'll get it done all in one go. Maybe done so quickly that you can swing by a favorite shop just for fun, or a quick snack.
Reality: This is all that's left?! There's only two pens and a single index card on this display! What do you mean, restock is next week?!
2. Realizing This Isn't Going To Be One Stop
Expectation: Okay, so I have to go more than one place. So what? It happens. I'll be fine, They'll have the rest at the next store.
Reality: I have to what? I don't want to go somewhere else! I have to be home soon, I have shows to finish before school starts! Don't you people understand?!
In all actuality though, Target/Walmart employees seem to have endless patience. Nothing fazes them. They're warriors, fighting for restock to calm irritated mothers and the kid crying in the office aisle because he wants a green sharpener, not the pink, because the pink is "For girls, Mom! I don't want the pink one!", reminding you of Veruca from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. Shout out to employees everywhere.
3. Fighting Dirty
Expectation: A nudge or simpering smile here or there, to distract other shoppers while you swipe the last pack of red pens. Exactly like the movies where one kid distracts while the other does the pick-pocketing.
Reality: Silently sneaking past a preoccupied parent attending to their kid and nabbing a three-ring binder, while simultaneously praying it isn't covered in glittery horses or monster trucks. Score! A plain red binder.
4. Coming Home
Expectation: Relief, in every sense. Perhaps a watermelon lemonade to congratulate yourself.
Reality: .....I forgot what? You know what? Forget it. If the teacher wants wide-rule paper instead of college, they can go find a tree to make the paper with. I just don't care anymore.
Then comes the all familiar call of your parents, asking you to take Inmate 2746 (also known as Younger Sibling) out for school supplies, when they had all summer to do it. Le sigh.
So as we start the school year, remember to take a deep breath and make some time for yourself. After all, things will only get harder from here.
