Talking With Your Eyes

Talking With Your Eyes

What have your eyes got to say?
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Have you ever found yourself endlessly staring into another person’s eyes? I don’t mean paying attention to their color, or how dilated their pupils are, I mean having a conversation with them through sight, as they endlessly stare into your eyes too.

The eyes are more than just a pupil and iris. Sight is a form of communication, kind of like that of art and music. One doesn’t learn how to look, just like one doesn’t learn how to listen to music or admire an art piece.

As strange as it may sound, your eyes have a voice. It’s the reason why making eye contact with a stranger is so awkward, but making eye contact with a friend is so comforting. There are people who can be incredibly loud and talkative with their mouth, but have the most quiet, reserved eyes. There is also people who can be extremely shy, but have the loudest eyes you’ve ever seen.

We all know the iris is the most captivating part of an eye: the various colors, patterns, and the way they look in different light. Stray away from it though, because everyone talks about the weather. Have a conversation about something new; about the veins, eye boogers, lashes, water content. Are those eyes tired? Excited? Scared?

An important aspect of talking with your eyes is that it requires minimal thinking. Just like talking with your mouth, there obviously is some subconscious thinking involved, but if we thought about every word we said before we said it, our conversations would be boring. Just open your eyes and look.

It is always a joy to observe the way people react when you stare at them, especially if you’ve never seen them before. Their facial expressions add to the content of the conversation, kind of like hand gestures in a regular conversation.

Talking with your eyes cannot replace vocal conversation, but it can certainly add to it. Take a look at someone’s eyes before and after you speak to them, kiss, hug, argue, sing, are sung to, watch a film, say hello, say goodbye.

Just like one can talk to themselves, they can also look. Next time you find yourself in front of a mirror, look at your eyes, come an inch away from the mirror, and see what your eyes have to say. I’ve done it, and I will say it can be scary sometimes, but other times i don’t feel anything at all.

Keep in mind that talking with your eyes is not another language, so you can’t translate it into words with your friends. Let the magic happen, believe that they understand what you were trying to communicate with your eyes. Look at how distorted your reflection is in their right eye, then their left. Try as hard as you can to look at both of their eyes at the same time, even though it isn’t possible.

It isn’t a staring contest, so remember to blink, but then think to yourself how much you missed in that split second that you weren’t looking.

Cover Image Credit: Jon Aguilar

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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You Don't Have To See Your Friends Every Day

We all have lives that we're trying to balance.

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For as long as I can remember, whenever I would have no plans and go on Snapchat to see all my friends having fun without me, I would get FOMO. I'd get really sad and think that they didn't care about me because they didn't invite me. It would get me in such a bad mood that it would ruin any chance of going out with someone else who wanted to hang out.

I don't know if it was just my anxiety of people hating me or if it was a fear of missing out (FOMO). Even recently, it has gotten me down. However, over the past month or so, I finally realized something: you don't have to hang out every day to still consider each other friends.

Everyone has a life that they're trying to balance, especially after high school. People work (maybe even more than one job) and go to school. Some have to take care of family members or do things for their family. Some people are focusing on themselves. Some have relationships to maintain. Whatever it is, we all have lives that we're trying to balance.

We all want to have fun, but school, work, and our families are the priorities.

Even if they're out hanging with other people, it doesn't mean that they don't want to hang out with you. Free time is served on a "first come, first serve" basis. It's hard to balance hanging out with multiple people.

I also learned that it doesn't matter the number of friends you have. What truly matters is the quality. Ask yourself, "Who's there for me when I really need someone?" The people who are there for you when you really need someone to talk to are your TRUE friends.

It's not easy to be there for someone and make them feel better. If they offer to listen or give advice, they care!

I know that it may feel like you have no friends sometimes, but that's not true. Life after high school is hard at times. You're an adult. You have to do adult things and take care of yourself first.

You have to realize that everyone has a busy schedule and not all your friends' schedules will align with yours, but that's okay! You don't need to hang out with friends every day to consider them your friends. What truly matters is if they are there for you when you need them.

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