It is a common thing now, to hear someone say, “Yeah, *insert name here* and I are talking.” But what does “talking” mean? Are you friends? Are you dating? Well, yes and no. Talking, a time frame of a potential relationship in which you both have shown mutual like for one another and wish to expand upon those feelings, but not too much and certainly not too fast, is the new relationship gray area. Spoiler alert: one person always cares more than the other, and in turn gets hurt.
Thus, I’ve come to the conclusion that the talking phase is completely and utter garbage. It’s a heartbreak waiting to happen, and the new way in which we “casually” date. (Seriously, why waste time casually dating anyway?) You text your almost-significant-other every night, you “like” their statuses and tweets, and if you’re brave enough, you’ll even make them your Man Crush Monday/Woman Crush Wednesday. But you aren’t together. You’re talking, and that’s it.
The problem with this is that one person is bound to fall head-over-heels. The only way this is avoided, of course, is if both parties are so casual that they are actually talking to multiple people at one time. *shudders* At that point, why are you wasting your time? Neither of you are invested, and isn’t the point of a relationship (or an almost-relationship, even) to assume you’re spending your lives together in the end of it all?
Talking is the new way in which we can be with someone, without actually being with them. It gives people a chance to play the field. With that said, it also leaves a lot to be desired. Take for example a talking phase between a guy and a girl: guy is talking to girl, while also talking to two other girls. The girl is under the impression that she’s the only one he’s talking to, and urges exclusivity. The guy doesn’t want that (of course), and replies with, “We’re just talking.” The girl waits, knowing that the guy will come around, that the cycle of talking will be broken, and they’ll live happily ever after. Well, that’s not what happens.
Which leads me to my next point: Talking does not require a breakup. If the person you’re “talking” to doesn’t want you anymore, they are not required to express this. They can ghost you, stop replying to texts, avoid you if you see them in public, and you’re supposed to be okay with it because you were never actually dating. That’s not to say that this is an acceptable idea (it’s so not), but people do it anyway. And their justification is always this: “We were just talking.”
Seriously? You’re kidding, right?
It is no secret that in talking, more often than not, one person is always more attached than the other. One person always has more hope, and in turn gets their heart broken. Is that the right thing? No. But does it happen much too frequently? Oh, yes. The person who gets hurt has no closure. They cut ties and try to move on, thinking that they did something wrong, that the end of their “talking” phase could have been avoided had they done one thing differently.
The truth of the matter is this: If someone does not care about you or respect you enough to give you the closure you deserve, they are not worth your time or effort. “Talking” is the most heartbreaking and socially stupid thing our generation has started. It’s a recipe for heartbreak, with a side of self-doubt and insecurity.
All of this because our generation fears commitment.
Tell me, is it worth it?
