If you were talking with someone and the conversation died, would you rather sit in silence or insert your own story or opinion to fill the lull? I for one always try to fill the silence, but perhaps I do so to a fault. I worry that by talking in order to fill the silence I end up overtalking. In fear of another gap I’ll just go on about my day or a band I like or whatever else, unless the person with me tries to insert their own opinion or story. I’ll keep talking until interrupted. This habit sometimes causes me to dominate a conversation and even shut others out. I try to prevent this by asking questions once in awhile; but in my anxious state that leads to this oversharing I sometimes forget to, and the person is left hearing me drone on.
This habit carries over when I am attending a class. If a teacher asks a question I’d rather insert my own possibly incorrect thoughts than have the teacher look upon us all with a sad sort of hope that one of us will speak. The teacher doesn’t truly care if an answer is wrong as long as a student is trying their best, therefore I find myself speaking frequently in my classes. This action causes a fear within my own head that my fellow classmates look upon me as a teacher’s pet or overachiever due to my constant vocalization of thoughts. This habit isn’t rooted in my desire to look good, but my willingness to share opinions and dislike of silence.
My secondary fear is that I’m stepping on my friends and classmates toes by doing so. I’m sure I’m not alone in these actions, and within my own classes I do my best to police myself. In the classroom if I see other students with their hands up and I’ve already talked a good amount I’ll stay silent. The flaw in this is that sometimes I will have a point I want to bring up and due to my over talking to a prior question, I don’t bring it up my point. Or in other cases, I do share my thoughts but in doing so I get irritated with myself for once again talking too much.
I can’t truly know what my classmates think of me and if they agree with my self conscious thoughts that I talk too much. If they do at least I am aware of it, if not then I have underlying anxiety for yet another preposterous thing. Overall, I am okay with people talking over me if I had been speaking too long or telling me after class that I try to answer too many questions, rather carry an underlying hate for me or mentally roll their eyes every time I speak. If you are like me, I invite you to ask someone if you’re an overtalker and stay vigilant in not stepping on the throats of your peers.
