How To Talk To Your Brother About Feminism

How To Talk To Your Brother About Feminism

One of the biggest shocks I have experienced was finding out how my own brother really felt about the feminist movement.


There is an incredibly popular term that tends to come from the mouths of many ill-informed men and woman which pertains to feminism. This horrific term is "feminazi," which attempts to be a play on the word "feminism," obviously, yet with its negative connotation and connection to anti-Semitism and the Holocaust, this word presents itself as way more than just a "play" on words. The reason I bring up this word is because this past summer, I heard my little brother use it in conversation. He just turned sixteen this past February, so I attributed his ignorance to his age; he's probably only heard that word around, I thought, and knew nothing about feminism. When I was fifteen, feminism was just becoming inducted into my personal vocabulary, and it took even longer for me to understand what it was really about. As a teenage boy, I can almost understand why misogyny takes precedence over actually learning about feminism. How can a fifteen-year-old boy possibly include himself in the feminist conversation? He's barely even gotten through puberty yet!

Before writing this article, I texted my brother and asked him two questions:

"Can you give me a definition of what you think feminism is?"

"What do you think about feminism?"

His immediate response to these questions was: "I'm so glad you asked this question," implying instantly that my brother had conjured up some very passionate opinions about the topic. Again, as a sixteen-year-old boy who has used the term "feminazi" before, I could not imagine these opinions would be positive.

Surprise! I was right! His perceptions of feminism were utterly misinformed and inaccurate. I won't display them here, but I will tell you this. I responded quickly to his texts, saying nothing but "That was incredibly inaccurate but whatever," not in the mood to argue over text with my little brother about a topic that he clearly knew nothing about. His response: "Yes obviously u think it's incorrect ur a woman."

Forget his incorrect definitions of feminism, this was the most upsetting part of our short-lived conversation. His response revealed to me the root of his young misogyny; boys and men, like my brother, do not think that they are part of the conversation, based on how society paints the feminist movement. Looking at my Instagram feed after the Woman's March, all I see are women. Just yesterday, Tarana Burke, the founder of the Me Too movement, came to speak at Villanova. Looking at the enormous crowd, which poured into the hallways, my friend and I counted only around fourteen or so boys. And when one of those fourteen or so boys raised his hand to answer a question, every single head turned. Ms. Burke herself even said, "Boy, every single person is looking at you right now." Her little joke points, however, to a very important truth. Men rarely believe that they have a place at the table when it comes to feminism. And this is not to say that feminism must fight for men, as well, because all women know that this is not the case. Men have historically never needed a fight, and society represents them enough that they will most likely never need one. However, even though the fight does not assist them, this does not mean that men cannot be allies to the movement. Allies are always part of the conversation, for they provide the same support that any other affected member would. They are not directly affected by the successes or downfalls of the movement, but they support it when it is successful and when it endures significant drawbacks.

Again, hearing my brother say such insensitive things about this movement, I can almost understand his reasoning behind it. The reasoning is there is no reasoning, this mindset is simply how society has told him to think. Feminism is for women, only involves women, and accepts nobody else but another woman, or at least that's what my brother thinks. In reality, there is space in the feminist conversation for men to be allies. If my brother is an ally to our younger sister, and to my mother and our grandmother, and to his female friends that he felt he needed to look after at the Travis Scott concert they all just went to, then he can be an ally to feminism. If my brother is an ally to me, then my brother can be an ally to feminism. My sister, mother, grandmother; every woman is a woman affected by the issues that the feminist movement fights for.

So, if I were to start up another conversation about feminism with my brother, I wouldn't ask him again to give me a definition of feminism or ask him opinion on the topic. These questions are irrelevant. The definition is simple: the movement that fights for equal rights for men and women. And his opinion on the movement does not matter when the issues do not affect him, therefore this question is ineffective as well. Instead, I would ask him: "Would you like to learn about the issues affecting me, Mom, and your sister? There are many ways you can support us, even if you are not a woman yourself."

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I'm A Christian Girl And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend For Women To Be Equals

It is OK for me to not want to be equivalent with a man.


To start off, I am not writing this to bash feminists or get hate messages. I am simply writing this to state why I do not perceive myself as a feminist.

March is International Women's Month and that is what has got me thinking about how I view myself as a young woman in the 21st century. I enjoy every day getting to soak up the world as a young lady, particularly in the South.

If you know me, then you know that I love and utterly adore Jesus. He is so perfect. He is everything. He is my whole life. Some people might say that I am a "Bible-thumper" or someone who has had too much Kool-aid and maybe I am, but I know who my Creator is and that He died for me, and that is all that matters.

In my young age, I loved to just sit in church with my parents and absorb all that God would deliver. As I have grown up, I have ventured off and joined a church that is different than my parents, so the responsibility falls more on me, but I love that. Since this era of independence began, I have thoroughly enjoyed taking ownership of my faith.

I spend a lot of time chatting with God, worshipping Him in all kinds of ways, and just diving deeper into His Word. Through all of this growth as a Christian, I have learned a lot, but something I have learned is a concept that some may not agree with, which does not surprise me.

I do not believe God meant for women and men to be equal.

There, I acknowledged the elephant in the room.

It is a shocker, I know, but I have some Biblical evidence to back up this belief that I have.

Let us begin in Genesis. God created man and then he created woman. This was two separate occurrences and order is key. He created Adam and then Eve.

Jesus treated women with grace and kindness, do not get me wrong. I mean just look at how He treated the woman at the well, the one who used all of her expensive perfume to cleanse His feet and not to mention His own biological mother! He has a truly unique place in his heart for women, but He also has special intentions for us in the world and in the family setting.

We are to submit to our husbands.

We are to be energetic, strong, and a hard worker.

We are to be busy and helpful to those in need.

We are to be fearless.

All of this is explicitly laid out by God in Proverbs 31.

We are not to be equal to our male counterparts. Jesus does not lay out the Proverbs 31 man, but He rather lays out the Proverbs 31 woman.

A husband or man is to be the head of the household as Christ is to the church.

A man is to love a woman so deeply that represents how he loves himself.

A man is to leave his father and mother.

Women and men are not equal in God's eyes, but they each represent Him in their own ways that the other needs.

If we were all equal, we would not need one another and therefore we would not need God. I am so thankful that we were not created equal. I am so thankful that God is so great that He could not just create only man or woman to represent His image. He is so perfect.

So, you see I am not a feminist, and it is OK.

It is acceptable for me to have this belief that God intended for men to lead women. It is also okay for people to have differing opinions. Writing this was not easy, but I know that not all people agree.

To feminists and those that are not, you are allowed to believe whatever you wish but have evidence to back it up.

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In Case You Haven't Heard, My Body Means My Choice, So Deal With It

With all the political differences and laws trying to be passed, based on what a woman can do with her body, demonstrates how the United States decides to use their power and control others by the means of it.


Since the beginning of America, there have always been minority groups, which include African American, Hispanics, the disabled, homosexuals, and women. Such minority groups have made it their responsibility to fight for their rights and earn justice for it. However, there has recently sprung up a debate on abortion policies, attempting to alter and re-write the rules on Roe vs Wade per state to pursue when or if abortion is illegal based on certain circumstances.

Now, I am not writing this in any means to deter you from your individual opinion on this situation or your perspective, but I do believe that I have a voice in this situation since I am a woman and this situation affects me if any of you individuals like that or not. And most of all, I deserve to be heard.

Starting off, in no means should a man, government officials, or anyone for that matter be able to decide what is acceptable to do with my own individual body, EVER. How have we become a country that thinks it is more than okay to tell what others can do based on the decision of another person. See, we have this thing called bodily autonomy which means we have independence over our own body, or at least we should. A prime example of this is when an individual dies, a surgeon can not remove the person's organs (if they were an organ donor) until the designated power of attorney says it is okay to do so. However, it is apparently acceptable and illegal for someone who has become pregnant through rape or in general is unable to care for a child to receive an abortion and loses their bodily autonomy for the following 9 months. How does a corpse have more rights and bodily autonomy than a pregnant woman does today?

Currently, the state of Alabama has passed a bill that makes abortion illegal under any circumstances and committing this now known felony, can lead to a very long jail sentence. In fact, committing abortion in Alabama (for the woman or the doctor) can lead to a longer jail sentence than someone who raped another individual. Wow. How is that acceptable????

Many states are following in Alabama's lead and we need to put a stop to it before it becomes too far. We women, need to fight for achieving our bodily autonomy and band together and show America that we are a force to be reckoned with.

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