My entire life, all I have ever wanted was to be a mom and have a family. This isn’t new information to my closest friends and family. I talk about it all the time. Some could say I fantasize about it, but as much as I talk about having a husband and children, I talk about my career just as much if not more. I want to become some sort of a medical professional; whether, that ends up being in the form of a surgeon, physician’s assistant, or nurse, I will achieve this dream.

Now everyone pause for just a moment. This article is supposed to be talking about feminism and feminists, right? Well, I identify as a feminist and for whatever reason, this word is dirtier and more negative than the real f word. What’s so wrong with wanting equality for everyone? At what point did this become a crime and carry a negative connotation? Why is being a feminist a bad thing?

You can be a feminist and want to be a stay at home mom. You can be a feminist and want to work sixty plus hours a week at a job you love and still love your children just as much. I identify as a feminist to break gender roles. To anyone this might offend, why are you so set on the idea that the women must stay at home, tend to the children, make dinner, and clean while, the man is out in the workforce providing? Why are you set in the gender roles from the past?

It’s okay for women to want a career. It’s okay for men to want to be stay at home dads. It’s okay to be a dual income family. Nowhere does it state, “man must provide for and protect woman, and woman must tend to children and man,” because quite frankly, believing in this mindset, and this mindset alone, is complete and utter bullshit. It doesn’t matter the choice you personally choose to make. For me, identifying as a feminist means accepting everyone for whatever choice they make. You will never see me, a feminist, talk poorly about a female who chooses to stay at home with her children, as long as it is her choice, and her choice alone. Same thing can be said for the opposite side; I am never going to talk down upon a female who chooses to go out into the workforce and kick some serious ass, instead of being a stay at home mom, as long as it is her choice, and her choice alone.

I refuse to stand by and accept the gender roles that have been imposed on women since the beginning of time. I cannot wait for the day when I can prove all the antifeminists wrong when I balance having a career I love with children and a husband I love even more. I am a modern day feminist and truly, I have never been more proud of an identity. And quite honestly, I cannot wait for the day I have it all, both a loving family and a thriving career, because trust me, I will have it all thanks to the dirty f word: feminist.