Hi there. You don’t know me, but I’m a feminist. In my free time, when I’m not eating babies or writing angry tweets about smashing the patriarchy, you can often find me talking in some manner about feminism. It comes with the territory that I basically eat, sleep, and breath feminism.
Pretty recently, I read an article posted on this very site, by someone who seems to have a pretty skewed view of what feminism is, and I’m here, ready to clear some things up.
“I don’t believe that being a female entitles me to put down men and claim to be the 'dominant' gender.”
Good for you! Neither do I! Sure, there might be some people out there that believe that women are superior, but the greater majority of feminists are for equality between the genders — it’s called feminism simply because the problems it’s working to solve are disproportionately affecting women. That’s not to say that feminism isn’t for men, because it definitely is! Feminism aims to end the idea of toxic masculinity and give male victims a voice, amongst other things!
“That doesn’t mean that I feel the need to put down the opposite gender for every problem I endure. Not everything is a man’s fault.”
As a feminist, I’m not necessarily blaming everything wrong in my life on men. However, I can recognize when the disadvantages in my life are the fault of the patriarchal system. If I get catcalled, I’m not going to go up to my guy friends and say “Hey, this is your fault.” Instead, I’d say that that’s a result of a constant objectification of women for years and years that trickles down to teach men that women don’t matter.
“Let’s stop blaming men and society about how we continue to “struggle” and praise the female gender for working hard to make a mark on today’s workforce.”
Wait, but why can’t I do both? I can make a remark about a lack of women in certain fields while still cheering on the ones that are within that field of work. And once again, I’m not blaming men for being involved in those fields, i.e. STEM fields, like, hey, you go Bob and Jim for being great at astrophysics! But hey, I’d also like to see Beth and Jane be great Astrophysicists, and be taken seriously within their fields as experts -- we can, and should, have both.
"Whatever happened to chivalry?"
Well, to be fair, I’ve never really been a fan of chivalry because even as a kid I felt more than capable of doing things for myself. If there is one thing I can get behind, though, it’s politeness. Sure, hold the door open for me, just like I’ll hold it open for you. I’ll never be mad at someone for being polite to me. As for paying for dinner, go ahead, as long as you let me pay the next time. We’re in college, and we’re all pretty broke; I won’t have anyone spending a fortune on me when I know for a fact that it’s not sustainable. And if a guy or girl wants to fix my tire, have at it because I can’t do it myself -- not because I’m a girl or delicate, just because I never learned (though I probably should get around to it one of these days before I’m stuck on the side of the road).
While I can sort of understand that “our bodies are different" argument, I have to say that even within each gender, bodies are pretty diverse, and I know guys who wouldn’t want to go against a 220-pound linebacker either, no matter how much they love football. And I know a girl who played right up next to the boys on my high school football team, and yeah, I know high school and NFL are literally in different leagues. I think it all comes down to whether someone wants it enough to achieve it, regardless of gender. I hope I see a lady NFL player in my lifetime.
Let’s get something straight: I am not a feminist because I hate men, or think I’m better than anyone else.
I’m a feminist because of the many powerful, kind, smart, incredible women I have surrounded myself with that deserve more than they have been handed.
I am a feminist because I come from a city that was once listed as eighth in the nation for violence against women.
I am a feminist because even when I have a legitimate argument, I am still asked if I am on my period.
I am a feminist because I never saw my father or any of my brothers cry because they were told that a real man doesn’t show emotion.
I am a feminist because I still walk through campus at night with my keys between my fingers.
I am a feminist because when a man acts creepy or follows me, I’m asked why I smiled at him, but if I didn’t, I’m asked why I acted like such a bitch to him.
I'm a feminist because most arguments, including yours, rarely gets deeper than the white, cisgender experience.
I'm a feminist because I believe in intersectionality of race, gender, and sexual orientation, and I'm fighting for more rights than just mine.
I am a feminist because I want you to be known for what you say and write, even if I might disagree, not by what you look like or what gender you are.
