Every time I sit down to write, I have no idea what’s going to come out of my mouth. I have no idea all the thoughts that are hiding deep within me just waiting to come out of hiding.

When I sit down at my computer, and I get to doing my thing, my confidence soars and my fingers just fly. It's something I'm good at, and it just comes naturally. I know that I am passionate about one thing, and that one passion can change the world… but it wasn’t always like that.

When I started blogging, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I wanted to change the world, I wanted to let the world in on the secrets of a girl that was so broken. I wanted to be vulnerable, open, honest, and real. I knew that’s what the world needed to see. I wanted to talk about my depression, my addiction, my suicide attempt, and everything else that everyone is too scared to talk about.

Yet, the first time I decided to post a very controversial blog, I felt nothing but scared.

It was coming on four years since the first time I vividly remember wanting to end my life, so I decided to share my story with the world. I completely opened up my heart, I wrote things I had never told anyone, and then I posted it.

Up until I posted it, I had confidence in it; but, as soon as it was up, I just felt scared.

I was so scared of what people were going to say, and what people were going to think. Suicide just wasn’t something people talked about. Were people going to think this was for attention? Are people going to give me lectures about how suicide is selfish? Was the bullying I endured years ago going to start again?

Every bad scenario I could come up with, I thought about.

It was less than 20 minutes, though – less than 20 minutes until every doubt was erased. The first person commented, then the next person, then the next. Texts, messages, and shares were flooding my notifications. It was at that moment that I distinctly remember thinking, “Ok, I’m going to change the world with this.”

Since that day, I’ve gone on to post many very personal stories and testimonies that may be considered controversial or taboo.

Most recently, I openly shared about my sexual assault. It was a few days after I posted it that I knew I was doing the right thing by sharing my life and my struggles with the world. I received a text saying, "..I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story."

I realized then that through all my posts, I’ve never gotten a bad comment, I’ve never felt belittled or in the wrong for sharing, and I’ve never felt like what I was doing wasn’t what I should be doing.

I’ve received nothing but support from people I know, and even people I don’t know; I receive so much encouragement, and “thank you’s” for sharing; and, most importantly, I have people telling me that my story was exactly what they needed to hear and that I’m not alone.

I have received nothing less than amazing things from sharing about my struggles and defeats.

Why do I do it? I do it because it needs to be done and because I want to be the one to get it done. I’ve realized that with so many things in life, things go wrong when we don’t speak up. Things go wrong when we pretend that everything is perfect – the world isn’t perfect and change needs to happen. But, when we choose to not speak up about problems, the problems can’t get fixed, and change can’t occur.

We can’t keep hiding anymore, and I won’t let us.

Most importantly, I write to be a voice. I write to be the voice that I needed. I write to be the voice for the voiceless. You see, when I was struggling, there was no one around me that showed me that I wasn’t alone, or that things would get better. Sure, people who had never suffered from severe depression would tell me to cheer up, but I knew of no one that had gone through it and shed some light on the idea that it happens but that it can get better.

After my sexual assault, I realized that it was something that everyone wanted to keep hidden as if it wasn’t an issue; I felt like my voice to stand up for myself wasn’t worth anything because nobody wanted to talk about it. And when it came to being a teenager in chemical dependency treatment, I felt unworthy because I was shamed instead of encouraged to get better.

Luckily, I found that I have a power in my voice and a platform for my voice.

Not everyone feels they have a voice, but I know I do, and I’m going to use it for them. I have a story to tell, and I’m going to use it. I’m going to use it to let everyone know they’re not alone.

I’m going to use it to let everyone know that struggles are going to happen, but that recovery is possible. I’m going to use it to talk about things that nobody wants to talk about.

I’m going to use it to let rapists know that what they’re doing has real effects and for survivors to know that we don’t have to let them steal our light. I’m going to use it to let depression known that it doesn’t win with everybody, and for self-harmers to realize that scars don’t need to be hidden.

I have a voice and I’m going to use it – to stand up for you, to stand up for me, to stand up for them, and to change the world.

Will you use yours?