Depression. At some point, it plagues us all. And yet, for something so common and widespread, we don't acknowledge its power near enough. Maybe that's why it keeps coming back. Maybe that's why it steals so many beloved hearts from us. Maybe we can beat it if we all learn how together.
The first and most important thing to know about depression is that it's an illness. I've always liked to think about it in terms of diabetes. So many people who struggle with depression hesitate to get help because of a stigma. They're embarrassed to seek medical remedies, because they're embarrassed by how they feel. But what if it was diabetes? Someone with diabetes wouldn't be ashamed to ask for medical help. And with diabetes, we see friends and family bending over backwards to accommodate and comfort. So why is it that people with depression feel they need to keep quiet about their suffering?
Well, our society has conditioned us to be ashamed of our negative emotions. We're reminded of how lucky we are, of how many people we're better off then. But in reality, that doesn't help with depression. In fact, speaking from firsthand experience, that can often make it worse. Depressed people know their circumstances, and they often feel guilty for being sad despite them.
And it's a hell of a thing to cope with. Depression alters your reality. You learn to live with this new normal where you're always exhausted, and you're forgetful and unfocused. You cry over the smallest mishaps, and perhaps worst of all (for me at least) you take it all out on the ones you love.
I've always prided myself on being a kind person, so when I catch myself acting in a way that doesn't align with that, it's pretty disheartening. You find yourself being this version of you that you know isn't real, and yet you can't figure out how to shed it, how to be the person you want to be. I can't count the number of times I've hurt someone I love because of my depression. It manifests too often in unkind words and hostile resistance.
But the purpose of all of this is mostly to say that we need to give each other a break. We need to be kind to everyone we come in contact with, because it's hard to know what they could be hiding. Depression isn't always a breakdown. It isn't always someone crying. Sometimes depression is the 4.0 student in every club you can think of, and what you don't know is that they're hanging by a thread behind a guise that gets weaker every day they go without the support they need.
We need to learn to be there for each other, to act out of love and kindness and to throw compliments around like confetti. And we need to normalize this discussion. Kindness only goes so far against chemicals. We need to let people know that it's okay to feel however they're feeling, and that most importantly, no one is alone.
