Growing up a suburban black kid was quite the experience. In the early '90s, my parents bought a house on the northwest side of San Antonio, Texas. Roughly an up-and-coming area at the time, my sister’s and my childhood was defined by Six Flags being in the East direction and Sea World being in the West direction. We were by YMCA little league teams, Pokemon and Digemon games, and much more. At the dawn of a new millennium, I lived in a time when MTV and Nintendo were everything. The likings of Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child, N’sync, Pink, and many more bands were all over the radio and television set.

However, my ears were being aroused by alternative artists like Nelly Furtado and M2M. I can remember getting a copy of Whoa Nelly! for Christmas and playing that album nonstop for the next two years. When M2M performed “Mirror, Mirror” and “Don’t Say You Love Me” on All That, I was glued to the television. Something about their sound and artistry defined a space for the suburban black kid that was me. While I enjoyed artists like B2K, Brandy, Usher, and other black artists, I was exposed to non-Black artists because of my surroundings.

Skate boarding was a huge fad during this time. I remember I saw these guys who looked to be in their teen years doing moves off of rails and sidewalks in a parking lot a couple of blocks from my house. It made me want to go out and buy pads and try to emulate those moves. One could imagine the surprised looks I was given by my black counterparts.

Growing up Black, I tried to dress like childhood rappers Lil Romeo and Lil Bow Wow. I remember buying FUBU shirts and giant football jerseys, getting a gold chain to wear, and brand new Air Jordan tennis shoes. That was my attire to try to fit in with my peers. Deep down, I felt so out of place. I didn’t feel like myself. I was perfectly happy with Converse shoes, polo shirts, and khaki pants. Thought I stood out, I stood out as myself.

My suburban upbringing was beneficial to me in the sense that it cultivated in me a heightened sense of creativity and originality. Listening to Nelly Furtado, watching shows like Are You Afraid of the Dark? and As Told By Ginger, writing every little thought in my journal; all these were a crucial part in developing my creative mind. I learned to tell stories from the ones being told to me and around me.

I defined my own sense of Blackness from my suburban upbringing. In the magical time of the new digital era, I was able to find my unique space and challenge the narrative of 20^th Century Blackness. As a kid, I had the courage to say it was cool that I like Nelly Furtado and As Told By Ginger and still be Black.

Obviously, I was very fortunate to have grown up in an area where 911 is not a joke, where bookstores and malls were right around the corner, and where sleepovers were encouraged. However, I remained grounded in the fact that what I am and who I am does not make me any more or less Black than anyone else.