Domestic violence and sexual abuse are big issues in today's society, and they are the issues that we like to pretend aren't there. These are seen as taboo problems to talk about so when the time comes to do it we shy away and ignore it. We act like rape doesn't happen with people you know and that it would never happen to you. But the truth is that more often than not, rape/sexual assault happens with an acquaintance or someone you know, and it can happen to anyone. It's time to stop shying away from a problem that is getting out of hand. Here are some things you can do to stand up against domestic violence and sexual abuse:
Support your local Denim Day projects
Denim Day is a day to wear jeans and raise awareness for rape and sexual assault. Why jeans? This day was sparked by a rape/consent ruling in an Italian court involving a young man who claimed that he couldn't have raped the woman because her jeans were too tight for him to take off so she must have helped him/therefore consented. You don't even have to participate in an event. Just wear jeans on this day and know that you are wearing them with a purpose and making a statement to stand with her and all other victims of these crimes.
Stop victim blaming
Stop making excuses for rapists. Stop blaming the battered women for staying in unhealthy relationships. Stop slut shaming girls for what they wear or who they are sleeping with. All of these things are furthering the issue and blaming the victims for what happened to them. If you do these things, then stop. If you hear them being done, then stop them.
Be aware
Rape and domestic abuse happen around you all the time. Chances are you know someone that has been affected by either rape or an abusive relationship. Do not say "that's not my business" or "they wouldn't want me to interfere." Be aware and call the police. Get as much information as possible so that if the victim decides to file charges, you can support them as a witness.
Understand consent
Understand that yes means yes, and no means no. Know that consent is necessary every time. Know that being in a relationship with a person does not automatically give you consent. Know that alcohol is not consent. Know that being unable to answer is not consent. Know that consent yesterday is not automatic consent for today. Know these things and practice them.
Raise awareness on your own
I'm not talking about being on the front lines of rallies with posters, screaming. If that's your thing, then go for it. But you can raise awareness just by talking to people about it. Start conversations about consent and how to stop victim blaming. Listen for other people having these conversations and join in. Show your support for victims by starting or participating in women's support groups. Do what you need to do to stop this issue, don't continue ignoring it.
