Being a young adult with anxiety has ruined a lot of good times for me and good opportunities with people that I loved. Although, when someone truly loves you, they take all the good and the bad, there is no changing. They accept you for who you are, and I am finally realizing this. When a person suffers from anxiety, it can lead to a lot of isolation or constantly wanting acceptance from others. I wrote this article to show people how anxiety sufferers understand how it affects the people around them and to open peoples eyes of what he/she goes through everyday.
When you love someone who suffers from anxiety, they will need:
- Constant reassurance
- Someone who supports them during hard times
- Understanding that not everyday is a good day
- Being there for them when they are in a worrisome state
- Loving them no matter what
- Answering the same questions over and over again
That list is pretty long, I get it. I understand everyone who suffers from the same issues and symptoms, because nearly everyday I feel that way too. But, you must remind yourself that this is who you are, and if that person is meant for you, they will understand you. Thankfully, I have that person. Love you, Nick!
My anxiety is an annoyance. It can show in ways like ripped fingernails, an upset stomach, random rages of anger and frustration. It can show in so many ways that many people will not even recognize nor understand. I can always feel for the people that I have put this through, but a lot of people cannot deal with it, which is why they left.
I don't have many friends, I never have. I have always kept my circle very small, because what's the point of having so many people in your life if they can't be there for you or know who you are fully? There is none. So to the people who have stood by my side during these times, thank you.
Having anxiety means you won't always have good days, there will be a lot of bad days and a lot of mixed emotional ones, too. The way to cope and deal with these days is to learn how to balance them, which is a process that I am trying everyday. You must find you medium and not let the anger and emotions eat you up.
You cannot let anxiety rule your emotions and feelings every single day, it's not fair to you. You deserve to be happy and feel okay and content. Anxiety has a great way of making this all feel impossible, and that is why I decided to write this article.
For years I always let my anxiety bury me to the ground, I let it power my actions and control my thoughts. I relied on the wrong people to help me and ignored that I could help myself. Never rely on anyone when you are in control and in power of the person you are, there is no one else to blame.
It wasn't until I was about 20 that I decided to take control and not let intrusive thoughts or mixed emotions affect me anymore. This does not happen overnight, and 2 years later I am still trying.
I constantly am worrying about others and how they feel, and I always ignored my own. It is very hard to overcome this, but you can do it. Everyday I remind myself of positivity and the great future ahead. Anxiety can be a bump in the road for many, but it's best to find skills to help.
Living with anxiety is like having a dark grey cloud on your shoulder everyday. Fear that things that would never happen are going to happen. Fear that no one loves you, and constantly asking them if they do, which makes the other person annoyed. I get it, because I am guilty of it too. It makes people not want to be around you. That is where you need to draw the line.
These people love you, forget the fear. People care for you, stop telling yourself they don't. The irrational fears of the "inevitable" are not going to happen, only you are in control of your destiny. Move on from these hazardous and horrible ideas or thoughts you created, because they are simply not true. Love yourself.
I won't ignore the truth that everything I am saying is easier said than done, but I am pushing all of you to try. You have nothing to lose, and only good can come out of it.
And to the people who mistreat you and won't understand or respect the person you are, they are not worth it. This is me, take it or leave it. Always focus on how you can better yourself, you come first, always!
If you ever find yourself suffering from anxiety or cannot find ways to cope, reach out! It only gets better from here.
Love Always, Mel.