Take Another One | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

Take Another One

I attempted to commit suicide for the third time yet again.

Sarah Makiyama
Oct 25, 2016
Texas A&M University
41
Take Another One

I laid there with closed my eyes.

Take another one.

I was sleep deprived.

Take another one.

I was depressed.

Take another one.

I was hurting.

Take another one.

The cuts on my arm were beginning to sting from the pain.

Take another one.

"You're being selfish"

Take another one.

"What about the people that love you?"

Take another one.

But what about me?

Take another one.

I had the notes written out.

Take another one.

I closed my eyes.

I woke up. I felt his presence within me. I talked to him.

I wanted so badly for him to take the pain away, for him to take me away from it all. But he didn't; instead, he gave me strength.

He told me that he has great plans for me and that he was always going to protect me.

He told me that I wasn't alone.

He told me that I was going to be okay.

Three weeks ago I attempted to commit suicide for the third time. I was at my lowest low yet again and I felt like if I had disappeared, that everything was going to be okay. But it wouldn't solve anything. It wouldn't put a smile on my face, or make the pain go away. It wasn't going to magically make my depression go away. It wasn't going to change anything.

I wish I could tell you that I'm cured. And that I live a life of luxury and with rainbows and sunshine, but I don't. I live with depression everyday.

What I can tell you, is that you don't deserve to live a life of pain. You don't deserve to allow depression to define who you are and to control your life. Know your triggers, allow yourself to talk to someone, allow yourself to live the life you deserve to live. You have to allow yourself to find the happy between the dark cracks. Don't be scared. You have to get out of your head and see the world. You are an amazing person. You matter.

You're going to be okay.

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