1. Never date a friend's ex or crush. Ever!
What are you, flipping stupid? You could have anyone. You could be Shawn Mendes wife, instead, you choose your friend's man, ex-man, or crush. You're scraping at the bottom of the bucket for someone who, 50% of the time, is doing it for revenge. I do not need a degree to see how little you think of yourself when you're taking your bestie's sloppy seconds. Great women don't do dumb stuff they can't recover from.
2. Gas your fellow woman up when she looks amazing!
If she looks great: Tell her she's Beyonce. Treat her like the Queen and Goddess we all know she is. Women critique the crap out of their own bodies, it is so difficult to love and accept one's own body.
Be the wife she wishes she could have. Set the standard for her future man. You are the bestie, be that bestie.
3. And calm that girl down when she looks terrible.
We all love our fellow woman but it is your responsibility as a phenomenal bestie to stop your wife dead in her tracks when she looks a hot mess. Tell her when her makeup looks too much for a first date, or when you know she won't get hired in a hoodie.
4. If you arrive together, you leave together.
Photo by Michael Discenza on Unsplash
Link arms, march out together. At the end of the night: pile into an Uber and drag yo self home.
5. Your bestie's secrets die with you.
secret
Got a secret, can you keep it?
The shallowest people are those that spread private secrets like wildfire. Let me guess, only God can judge you? God doesn't like snitches.
6. Check in on every and any girl.
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
If you see a woman who is talking to a man and she seems uncomfortable — pretend she's your best friend. Ask her how her day is, offer her a ride home, go get McDonald's, have a sleepover. It doesn't even have to be walking up to a stranger in a club; let your sorority sisters know they're appreciated, text your BFF or let your childhood best friend know that they're missed.
7. Any girl can be a potential sleepover buddy!
sleepover
Speaking of sleepovers: who's down for face masks, '90s chick flicks and wine night? This girl.
8. Give your friends all the hugs.
Hug your friends, love your friends and let them know they're loved.
9. When he breaks her heart.... kill him.
I would never recommend murder but if he ruins her life, ruin his but in a better fashion. Leaked her nudes? Sue for defamation of image and non-consensual porn. Cheated? Let's see if the other woman knows she's "the other woman." Blocks you on social media? Let's see if his mom knows how he treats women.*
*Please don't spend your whole life obsessed with getting revenge especially if you are unable to get revenge. I've had first-hand experiences with karma and she drives a double-decker bus.
32 Times 'The Golden Girls' Were So Savage, It Packed A Punch
"Beat it, you fifty year old mattress!"
"The Golden Girls" was a sitcom that debuted in the mid-1980s, and starred Beatrice Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty. The show revolved around four older women, all single and sharing a house in Miami, Florida. Even though they are all friends, they tended to pick on each other, throwing snarky comments back and forth with no shame. Here's a list of some of their most hilarious and savage moments in the show.
1. When Sophia gave a friendly reminder that someone else is worse off.
2. When Sophia called out some major B.S.
3. When Dorothy stressed the necessity of birth control.
4. When Sophia wasn't afraid to tell how she really felt.
5. When Sophia tried to give a pep talk.
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6. When Dorothy hit where it hurts.
7. When Blanche gave Rose some useful advice.
8. When Rose told this little girl the brutal truth.
9. When Dorothy was a little too harsh.
10. When Sophia wasn't in the mood for another story.
11. When you realize Dorothy clearly got her shade from Sophia. Like mother, like daughter.
12. When Sophia wasn't afraid to show off her spicy side.
13. Seriously though, Sophia's roasts both hurt and amuse.
14. I'm not kidding.
15. When Dorothy threw this fireball at Blanche.
16. When Rose expressed what sounds like concern.
17. When Dorothy had no shame turning down a man.
18. When Sophia wasn't afraid to roast her own daughter.
19. When Dorothy had yet another comeback for Blanche.
20. When Rose didn't give a crap.
21. When Blanche set herself up for this shade.
22. When Sophia described future plans in a nutshell.
23. When Blanche wasn't afraid to be savage.
24. When Dorothy asked the master question.
25. When Blanche actually had roasts of her own.
26. When Dorothy pointed out someone's flaws.
27. When Sophia expressed the joy of forgotten memories.
28. When Dorothy struggled to find a compatible man.
29. When Dorothy came at Blanche with yet another slam.
30. And Sophia threw this brilliant jab.
31. When Blanche spoke the truth.
32. And lastly, when Sophia wasn't ashamed to point out her daughter's quirks.