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Because They Are Real
24 April 2019
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Because They Are Real
You've come across a wild teenager & you're wondering, "what've I gotten myself into?"
I know why you're here. You've come across a wild teenager and you're wondering, "What have I gotten myself into?" They're transitioning from child to teen and it's frightening. Boys? Does that mean they'll start thinking about girls and being influenced by what they see on television and whatever their friends are doing? Girls? Oh no. Everyone told you that they were just the absolute worst. They told you that they get their period, they start having sex, they might start drinking and then there's... OH NO! Right? All the stereotypical horror stories. Fear not, I'm here to reassure you. They're not so bad when approached properly.
We've all heard the horror stories before. "They will run rampant!" "They will walk all over you!" Many people do not realize that all of this can be avoided by just talking to them. Understand, they are transitioning from child to teenager. Hormones are taking over. They are surrounded by outside influences! Remember yourself as a teenager. Remember how you wanted to be treated and then proceed.
When someone says, "listen" they don't mean to just their words. Listen to their actions. Listen to their music. Listen to their body language. Listen to their eyes. There are many things that a teenager will do that are dead giveaways. It is up to the parent to watch carefully.
When approaching your wild teenager, be sure you know what you're approaching them about. Did they listen to depressing music all day yesterday? Did you walk past their room and hear them crying this morning? Maybe you heard all of the tea in school when she was talking to her friends? Teenagers are very evasive. Some don't want to disappoint you. Some are very embarrassed. Others are simply lost. You need to approach them with caution and love. They can smell fear. They can also smell judgment.
Do you know other teenagers? Ok. Did your friend go through a similar situation? That's fine. Your oldest didn't act like that? Good for them. None of that has to do with your current wild teenager at hand. They are individuals. They do not need the comparison. Have you been through something similar? Ok, that's you though. Everyone is unique. Treat them as such. Take your situation and tell it to them as a story, not to compare to theirs. Let them know that, although times are different, you've been through something similar at their age.
Chill. It's not real. Just don't tell them that. Tell them the importance of being their own person. They do not have to feel consumed by their "relationship". A relationship is an add-on to their own person. Who they are as an individual does not fade away once they are with someone. Tell them to "become one" with someone at a young age is not something that is a goal. The focus needs to be on themselves. While they can still care about their "boyfriend/girlfriend", they should never lose their sense of self. Make sure you do not try to pound this idea in their head, the teenager will see this as nagging and begin to shut down on you. Instead, start up a random conversation while they are around and try to ween in these messages.
Chill. Just talk. See them going through changes? Talk. Don't say, "Sex. Bad. Bye." That's not how you talk to them. Tell them to respect their bodies and to make sure their partners respect them as well. Tell them to be safe! STD's are the real threat! Don't do the typical, "If you get pregnant, I'm kicking you out my house." No one wants to hear. "I'm kicking you out of your home because of your mistake." Instead, teach them safe sex. Your daughter thinking about being sexually active? Make sure she understands what comes with being sexually active. Teach her to start taking birth control. Your son thinking about being sexually active? Make sure he understands what comes with being sexually active. Show him where exactly to buy condoms. Show them how much condoms cost and how much diapers cost. Be supportive but also be firm.
Simple and straight to the point. You can't be their best friend and their parent. This is where a lot of parents confuse that boundary. Let your teenager know that they can come to you for anything like a best friend but also acknowledge the line between friend and parent. Are they not doing well in school? No phone. Failing math? You come straight home after school and study! Know your teenagers' ticks and get your point across.
Following these steps will not make everything fine and dandy. Not at all but this will make everything much easier on everyone. Remember, you are the parent don't let them handle everything on their own because "they're being a teenager."
"It's not you, it's me!"
"I'm just no good for you!"
Remember that wrenching heartbreak? The one that sent you spiraling into anger? Not because there was anything crazy going on in your relationship, but because it was fairly simple and yet somehow, it did not work out. Doesn't that just make you mad? Everything is there and you guys are just not connecting? And to top it all off? They gave you a really terrible excuse as to why this is happening? A good cliche of, "It's not you, it's me." Come now, let's spill the tea.
"It's not you, it's me."
Once, I had an ex-boyfriend who had real potential. He was good-looking, funny, smart, driven and had everything going for him. We started dating and I got to know him more and he still seemed to be a decent person. What was the issue? He had a really bad commitment issue. For some reason, he just did not want to commit. We would do a boyfriend and girlfriend activity, I would post him on social media BUT he just did not want to claim me as his girlfriend. What was the problem? Did he, perhaps, want to soil his royal oats while he was still young and he did not want to be tied down? That could be it, but if that's the case, why start a relationship-like situation with someone? Needless to say, this could annoy anyone. The man is great behind the looking glass but as soon it comes to claiming me in public, here come the excuses.
I can say that the people who do this, just need to be upfront with themselves and the person they are involved with. A simple, "I'm not ready to date yet" or "I don't want to stop living this single life, we can talk but just know you won't be the only one" is good enough for anyone to decide whether or not they want to stick around. No one should be lead on with false promises of one day being claimed and one day getting to finally call someone their boyfriend/girlfriend even though they do boyfriend/girlfriend activities. Just to end it off with, "It's not you, it's me."
"I'm just no good for you."
I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS PHRASE! Can someone please tell me what significance this phrase has with someone who has already established a relationship with that person? How are you going to wait to start dating someone, get to know them and their body just to make excuses for yourself? You catch yourself messing up and now you guys are in a bind. The first response should never be, "I"m just no good for you." Cause if that was the case, they would have known this prior to dating you.
WWND (What would Nene do) if she was working in an office building?
At some point in our lives, most of us will be working in a corporate building or government office. I am currently a college student trying out the feel of working in an office setting. For my internship, I am working in an office building and as much as I love helping the public and doing easy tasks, there are a few things that annoy me when working in an office building. I'm sure Nene Leakes would have the same pet peeves as I do if she ever worked. Here are some of the pet peeves I deal with on the daily.
Chileeee at this point you wonder why you agreed to these hours.
And then you have to deal with someone yelling about something they can easily fix themselves. You start using the office greeting even on your personal phone.
There's just certain things you just don't do. You're asking to get slapped (well, after I punch out).
Oh no sis, outside of work, we don't know each other. Especially if I don't want you seeing my Instagram account.
*Sits in cubicle laughing silently while my coworker is getting blasted and on the verge of being fired*
Just because I start at 9 a.m. doesn't mean I'm physically ready…please come in at least 10…..or closing.
OH NAHHHH lunch breaks are my own personal time, don't bother me or show me pictures of your cats Susan.
Now they're going to know the real reason why I call out sick.
Now's your time to run out...
Our families saved the best for last.
Although me and my siblings were born with three different fathers, and I was the only one of the three to have never switched schools growing up, we still follow the dynamics of a typical family. Not to mention, I'm seven years younger than my sister, and eighteen years younger than my brother, so really thinking about it, my experience of being the youngest child doesn't quite fit the general stereotype of others who are the baby of the family. However, the whole birth order thing still happens, even when you have only one other sibling, or when you're an only child.
As the baby of my family, I didn't have the same expectations set for me by my parents that my elder siblings had to exceed, but that allows me and other people who are the youngest in their families to make our own goals to accomplish. Just like them, I've experienced these things about being the youngest child at some point:
https://giphy.com/gifs/bbc-comedy-bbc-two-l3mZ8mNnDwyu5GY1i
While our brothers and sisters usually take everything more seriously, because they're trying to be good role models for us, we think about the same stuff, but with more lightheartedness. Take this knock-knock joke for instance: Knock knock! Who's there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework? XD
https://giphy.com/gifs/govballnyc-governors-ball-govball-nyc-matt-and-kim-3o72EZKbG4FiL6VnsA
Standing out in a crowd? Sounds more like the ideal job for the middle child! You get more perks when you're deep in a crowd, all the way from being in school to the real world.
https://giphy.com/gifs/art-animation-artist-26ybuNo5eJMFuSQzC
Our parents don't rag on us about our education, so it's easy for you to let your imagination run free. Rules in the house and in the world get old anyway, as a matter of fact.
https://giphy.com/gifs/FVIflnMFdGoMw
This is a no-brainer anytime our elder siblings screw something up.
https://giphy.com/gifs/xT8qBlFXKBi5aCgjAs
Wasting electricity? Pfft! It keeps me occupied and gives me something to dream about, although it's not exactly the ideal binge watching session.
https://giphy.com/gifs/kelly-ripa-11q25TvZiRBIvC
Don't forget plenty of inappropriate song lyrics. None of it scars you for life. Truth is, it all just goes right over your head when you first see all of this, but it's so exciting.
https://giphy.com/gifs/zamazon-season-1-zelda-l0ExnWYm0CuH2XN7y
Some of these can be last year's fashion, or anything embarrassing from the last decade. It's all worth it anyway, because you can set some new trends among you and your friends. If your siblings are all the opposite gender of you, then good luck with that...
https://giphy.com/gifs/reality-tv-hallelujah-thank-you-jesus-qE8EuaecyLH6U
Video games, cell phones and computers aren't even a factor in this. You get to tell your brother or sister, "Since you're old enough to drive, can you get me to the mall?", or "Can you drive me and my friends to see the concert?"
https://giphy.com/gifs/destorm-destorm-power-3o8dFwze0Tz8umFQhW
Let me get this straight. Just because we're the baby of the family, our voices shouldn't be heard? I love all of you, but you're being ridiculous. My competency level is even higher than the pet, FYI.
https://giphy.com/gifs/arrogant-3rd-rock-from-the-sun-HVpQd5UekQsBW
Good listener? Check. Go without a compliment or any kind of feedback when you visit? Not in your wildest dreams *flips hair*.
https://giphy.com/gifs/glee-rachel-berry-santana-lopez-5UVf8D2OHxduw
You get so used to getting away with murder when they're around, you can't imagine a day without them. Always cherish all those times that your parents went out, and put them in charge of you.
https://giphy.com/gifs/reality-tv-tea-wendy-williams-RlXE8bnU1RE2Y
You have the reputation of being trustworthy, but sometimes you also have a penchant for drama and gossip.
https://giphy.com/gifs/punk-rock-dance-6xFPk1zpo3wVG
I feel like an "old soul" when I'm around people my age. Finding peers that are also the baby of their family is an odyssey of epic proportions.
https://giphy.com/gifs/black-and-white-sad-britney-spears-HEwZhGIlc7vHO
This happens a lot during school. Doesn't help when teachers who hate my siblings compare me to them. Luckily, you have thick skin, so that makes it easy for you pave your own way.
https://giphy.com/gifs/HallmarkChannel-hallmark-channel-mtp-4Z0cDOqfNllJ43h1Lj
We're the last in everything, from getting rocked to sleep to graduating from high school and/or college. Our siblings, although we get on each others' nerves, unconditionally have our backs. The bottom line is, our family will always let us know just how much we're adored.
I think it's quite logical.
Yes, summer's here and college is the last thing on everyone's minds. But it also means that football season for Penn State is almost here, and season tickets are up for sale.
Considering how large Happy Valley is and how quickly tickets sell out, are season tickets truly worth the price?
In retrospect, during my freshman and sophomore year, I chose not to buy season tickets for the Nittany Lions, and honestly, I don't regret it. Yesterday, one of my close college friends asked if I was buying them and I solidly said, "No." On top of that, my other friends would show their ticket confirmations on social media, pumped for the fall.
Yay.
As a Penn State student, I know it's all about the pride and culture behind our lovely Nittany Lions. Hell, after our team won the Fiesta Bowl, it was a big deal for the players, the fans, alum, and students of the University. I'm proud to be a part of that.
Still, it doesn't mean I'll be losing sleep waiting to purchase my season tickets. Here's a few reasons why:
Purchasing season tickets is like racing for the last popsicle in the freezer, it all depends on how quick you are.
And who the hell am I to compete against other students who honestly love Penn State football more than I do? There's so much popular demand for the tickets, and there's no waiting to get them.
You either buy or you don't. So, I don't.
I'm not making an excuse.
I'll know what you'll say.
Usually when season tickets go up for sale, I'm contemplating what to buy for move-in day or what textbooks I'll need for my next set of classes.
On top of that, I'm pretty sure the price of my textbooks alone, whether for one semester or two, equal the price of season tickets.
I'm cheap.
Sometimes, you just don't have the money and that can be unfortunate for someone who'd love to go to every game!
Here's a serious question. Throughout your fall semester, did you ever go to all home games at the Beaver Stadium? I know people who literally purchase season tickets just to sell them online.
It's a smart tactic, yes, but that, to me, limits the opportunities for people who really want to go.
But, if you're one of those students who would rather go to a few games for a cheaper price from someone else, do your thing.
Take it from me. I went to my first home game during sophomore year for less than $20.
But, the downside to this choice? People will sell tickets for bigger prices for important games. You know, like Pittsburgh or Ohio State. It all depends on you!
I don't think I'm dedicated to any sport, actually.
Sure, I'll be down to watch a football game with friends and cheer my school's team on. I'd also rather watch it on television or check the scoreboard on my phone.
At least that's what I did during this year's Super Bowl.
I will say that after going to my first game, I've learned more about football — how long each quarter is, half-time events, etcetera, etcetera.
Trae Morgan-White
Rooting for your team is cool after a while, but from my experience in the 'S' Zone, I got tired immediately.
I remember after every touchdown the Nittany Lions made, it was the same thing: the chants, cheering, excessive screaming, and standing on the benches.
My legs were so sore, it was a nightmare. Bright side, we defeated Georgia State, so.
Overall, I think I'd much rather go to certain games once in a blue moon. Some things aren't for everyone. I just don't see the point in buying season tickets. I think that if I had the money or it was a lucky day, I'd buy them.
Other than that, congratulations to those who got their tickets on time and hopefully this season will be as good as last year!
Penn State's first game of the season is set for September 1.