When I think of distance, I get really scared and think of it as a barrier, and that a lack of communication is bound to ensue because of said distance. At least, that's how I thought of it a couple of weeks ago. Back then, it was just a concept; it was something I had yet to experience on a real large scale. But now, more than a week after the last time I saw either my boyfriend or my best friend, I feel that I have a little bit more of a grasp of what distance is, and what it does and doesn't mean.
Distance is still kind of scary. I mean, you're away from the person/people that you care about most, and when they're in a different country/timezone, it's impossible to continuously talk to one another on your normal schedule. You can't have the physical contact that you've become accustomed to (hugs fuel me), you can't go to eat with them after a class, and you can't really hear their voice (phone audio isn't quite the same).
But enough of what you can't do. What I've realized a lot over the past week is that there are still a lot of things that you can do that makes time go a little faster, and that makes the distance feel a little shorter sometimes.
Know that your friends are all here for you, and that they are more than willing to hang out with you, and they understand that you miss that person. And while they won't want to hear you complain about it all of the time, they'll get it, and understand that you might want to hang out with them more so that you don't feel quite so lonely. And if you run out of friends to hang out with, or you just need a bit of time for yourself, keep yourself busy with work, and Netflix is always your friend.
Something that helps me quite a lot is being able to send messages to them as if they're still around. I'll send messages of something stupid that I'm doing, or something that I see that reminds me of them. It's really comforting to sort of trick yourself into thinking that they're still around, and keeps a sense of normalcy to your day. But before you decide you're going to do this, let the person know that you'll be messaging them constantly so that they can turn off their cellular data so they won't get charged for overages (if that's necessary).
It's just like everyone and their uncle has told you; communication is key in a relationship. And when they're far away, it might feel like that communication is slightly lacking. But that's okay, because one of the two of you is doing something new and really cool. There's also this amazing invention called a video chat. And as much as I hate talking on the phone, I think video chatting is like the best thing ever. So if you can schedule a time at least once a week or so that you guys can video chat, it makes life so much easier. It can make you completely forget about the distance momentarily because you become so enthralled in the conversation, and being able to see their face and hear their voice (even if it is crappy phone call quality).
But I do have to say that my favorite thing that has kept me going and comforted me the most is the short and sappy note, with a small item that means a lot to him, which my SO left with his roommate to give to me. Something so small as that means the world to me. Because you know that they put in a lot of thought as to what they'd like to leave with you while they're gone for a while. And you know that they really wanted to make sure you know that they care about you, no matter where in the world they might be, or how hard it is to find time to contact them.
Obviously dealing with distance is not something that is easy. There's no simple fix, or any way to change the fact that there may be thousands of miles between you and someone you care deeply about. So all you really can do is a couple of little things here and there that make the distance a bit more tolerable until you can hug them again.
