I Survived My First Year Of Long Distance

I Survived My First Year Of Long Distance

And I don't regret any of it.

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As my freshman year comes to a close, so does the first year of living away from my boyfriend. Almost exactly a year ago we decided we were going to stay together as we went to separate colleges...across the country from each other. I go to school in Pennsylvania and he goes to school in California so there is literally 2400 miles between us and a 3 hour time difference. I was so scared and cried at the thought last year before we left for school. The unknown was terrifying and moving that far away from my best friend scared me to death. I didn't want things to change but the reality was that they were going to whether we wanted them to or not.

At the beginning of school, it was very difficult to adjust to. We both were in different worlds than we were used to and didn't have anyone physically there to help us through it all. We tried watching movies together over FaceTime...it wasn't the same. It actually made me more upset when we would try to do these things at first because it just reminded me how far away we were. But as time went on and we both had the opportunities to visit each other, we both calmed down.

Looking back, in some ways it was better for me to have my boyfriend farther than driving distance because I wouldn't have had to try to make friends if I could just escape to him every time I was uncomfortable at school. It pushed me to put myself out there and meet new people and actually work at building those new relationships. Of course I would have loved to have him with me as I did that but I know that I wouldn't have met as many people as I have or gotten as involved as I did.

We still text constantly and FaceTime at least once a day. Sometimes, when we're both busy that means a 5 minute phone call reminding each other that we love one another and ranting about our days. Other days, we can talk for an hour and just laugh and talk about every little detail that we missed out on. We always end every night (well, my nights around 12am but his 9pm) with a Good Night and a I love you. It's something that you get into a routine with and even though it's not perfect you get used to it.

Something that has been very important for my relationship, as for most long distance, is communication and trust. Without these two things, we both would have never gotten through the year together.

It has been an adjustment and I look forward to the day that we no longer have to take long plane rides to see each other for a weekend, text good night, or FaceTime to see each other's faces. But for now, I don't regret my decision in being in a long distance relationship and I cherish my time with my boyfriend in person and over the phone. Being able to be in love with my best friend is something I would never give up because of temporary distance.

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Here It Is, The REAL Reason You're Single

Being single is a choice, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

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It seems that any woman claiming her independence and declaring that she, in fact, likes being single is met with the same reaction every time. She's bitter or cynical or maybe just lying to herself so she can rest easier at night.

Whether it's society's incessant pressuring or primal nature screaming "MAKE BABIES," single girls are forced into thinking, What's wrong with me?

But, in most cases, a woman isn't single because she's unlovable or disagreeable — it's simply because she's strong enough to hold out for the right person. And maybe, just maybe, she's content with that.

I know, you've heard it before. But that doesn't make it any less true. I see so many people in miserable relationships (and have been in them), and I just think about how much better it feels to be free, rather than bogged down by someone I know isn't right for me.

Single girls are single because they know their worth and value their time. Apps like Tinder and Bumble make it easy to start relationships, so, for the most part, if you really wanted a significant other, you could find one.

But why waste a second on something you know isn't right?

Of course, this is no slam on people in relationships. If you find someone that makes you happy, that is more than enough reason to be with him/her. And if it doesn't work out, that's OK. I'm talking about entering into relationships that you know from the get-go aren't worth a shot.

And for me personally, I enjoy being single. I know, crazy right? I don't even know if I'd be completely ready for the 'right person' just yet. I love focusing on my friendships and flirting freely and knowing that there is nobody wondering where I am at all hours. Except, maybe, my mom.

Not everyone's world revolves around romance. And why should it have to?

Especially as you get older, people tend to treat being 'alone' like it's some sort of disease you have. But being single isn't something that is sad or embarrassing. And, by the way, not having a significant other in no way means you're actually alone.

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To The Girl Telling Herself She Doesn't 'Catch Feelings,' Stop Lying To Yourself

"Catching feels" is not synonymous with a sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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We're all guilty of it. We think we have this incredible Great Wall of China protecting our vulnerability; however, we tend to overestimate its security with defense mechanisms that could potentially hurt us in the long-term, concerning the formation of future relationships.

We must let others in to embrace the process of falling for someone

If you're like me, constantly busy and preoccupied with life's demands (sometimes going days without proper inhalation and exhalation), we become almost numb and ignorant of our emotions, mostly as a result from not putting ourselves out there. But this lack of experience is wrongly mistaken for the notion of attachment resistance. It's OK to focus on yourself, but after a while, it is necessary and fun to reawaken those feelings and jubilant moods associated with falling for someone, because in the midst of life's madness, we often forget how to feel.

Do not attempt to avoid to "catch feels" like it's the plague

We're consistently bombarded with false advice from society to avoid "catching feels," or falling for someone, no matter the costs. Why is it suddenly so frowned upon to actually like someone you met? Why should we feel shame in wanting to continue a relationship with this person? Dating is evidently complicated in the 21st century, but don't let this make you try to consciously repress those newly-formed feelings since repression essentially leads to escalation. Embrace the feels because it's the human thing to do.

Loosen your wall's bricks with vulnerability

Some of our jerk-alert senses are more activated than others, mostly due to past experiences, but it's important to hammer into our heads that they're not all the same.

Stop lying to yourself. No matter how much you repress it, you will feel, you will get attached, and you will allow yourself to do this, despite what the norm is for what "dating" is today. Break off from your defense mechanisms and your wall will slowly follow. Remember: "catching feels" is not synonymous with sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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