Surround Yourself with Matching Energies

Surround Yourself With Matching Energies

The people you surround yourself with can make or break you.

ADECAIRE
ADECAIRE
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My whole life I've naturally been an analyzer. Due to the whole empath thing, I can read people's energies. The older I get, the easier it becomes and the more noticeable. I can tell when something irritates you or makes you angry, or if something makes you happy or sad. Naturally, that means I can tell how you respond to certain things I say or how certain words, thoughts, or phrases trigger you.

For example, if I come up to you and begin discussing how I'm an empath and you think I'm crazy, I can tell you think I'm crazy. I don't need to be looking at your face to know it hit you a weird way. I can just feel it.

This also means I naturally absorb energies and feel them as if they were my own. If I'm talking to you about something and I can tell you're disinterested or distracted, I become distracted and have to overcompensate for the both of us and find a way to force myself to focus, sometimes making me come across as overly forward or talkative. If you're tired, I become tired and tend to avoid eye contact. With a lifetime of practice, it's become easy to switch back and forth, but it's exhausting.

Imagine not only constantly dealing with your own emotions and energy but attempting to balance your own while being able to feel the energy of everyone around you. Due to this, I'm very particular about the type of people I can surround myself with because if their energies don't match my own or I feel as if we're on "different wavelengths," friendships can become more exhausting than fun.

Often, this means I keep my distance from people, which in all honesty, kind of stinks sometimes, but if I'm around people too often, I'm emotionally and physically drained, and struggle to focus on my own life because I'm constantly analyzing everyone else's.

Empath or not, why does this matter? Even if you can't feel the energies of the people you surround yourself with or notice their emotions, pay attention to who you choose to spend your time with. Whether or not you can tell those energies exist, they do exist, and sometimes you could be hanging out with someone who is more of a detriment to you than a benefit.

If you walk away from a night out with friends, exhausted, not because of the activity or because of a lack of sleep, but because you just feel emotionally drained from being out with them, take a step back and ask yourself why.

Relationships do require work, but they shouldn't be a chore. Surround yourself with people who leave you feeling, as Meredith Grey once said, bright and shiny. Or find yourself your Christina Yang if you want someone to match your dark and twisty. Whoever it is, just make sure they're your energy equals, otherwise, your friendships could leave you feeling friendless.

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To My Best Friend Who Doesn’t Know How Strong She Is

Always better together.
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To the one I know I will always have by my side,

First off, thank you. Thanks for dealing with all my shit: my mess, drama, tears, and weirdness. There are so many reasons why you are my best friend; you are funny, amazing, kind and unbelievably supportive. I am beyond lucky to have someone that gets me and has been there with me through the best of times and the worst of times.

You are strong.

Life is difficult; I think we have both realized that by now. Whether you believe me or not you are kicking everything being thrown at you in the ass. You have been through everything and more and have always come out of it a stronger, and better person. You are never alone and you know that; we have been there for each other for years and that will never end.

You are special.

I have never met anyone with a bigger heart than you; you sympathize with anyone that comes to you for advice. You take things to heart and look at the world in a unique and beautiful way. You appreciate the little things in life, watching Dance movies with your mom, a late night snack at Taco Bell, driving with the top down and dancing like no one is watching.

You are beautiful.

You are way more beautiful than you think. You've got softness to you that is calming, a smile that is contagious, and a gorgeous girl with so much to offer. You are filled with love and compassion, an amazing writer, dancer and overall an amazing and beautiful person.

You can get through anything.

I know you are going through a hard time right now, but look at how far you've come. You have gone through way worse and you will get through this just like you have in the past. You will become even more powerful than you already are. You are experienced and that's part of what makes me love you so much. We have gone through a lot together and we know that whatever life throws at us we can handle it.

I am always here.

Your hardship is my hardship, but keep your head up high just like I know you can. You have so much love in your life, from your family, your friends and me. I love you, I have never had a friend like you and I am so grateful every day because of it. You are going to get through this. You are going to get through it because you are, powerful, you are beautiful and you are strong.

~Written with love and appreciation for the most amazing friend I could ever ask for~

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Richman

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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