Forgiveness.
It can be one of the hardest things for anyone to do. We love living the victim role because we all have that tendency in our human nature because we are naturally sinful!
"Oh my gosh, did you hear what (*insert person's name here) did to me? I know right? (*insert person's name here) is such a jerk!"
It can be so much easier to live in a stage of anger and hard heartedness when someone hurts us or treats us poorly. It's easier to be angry with them instead of addressing those hurt feelings, moving forward, and forgiving the person who has wronged us.
However, the definition of forgiveness is, "The intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well." By definition, forgiveness is the process of stepping out of that victim role and stepping into a role of someone who can let go of those hurt feelings and genuinely be ok with the person who caused them.
You may be thinking, "That sounds all fine and dandy, but why should I forgive so-and-so? They really hurt me and they don't deserve it."
God gives us two very good reasons as to why we should forgive others. The first being that even though we don't deserve forgiveness, He gives it to us regardless. Romans 5:10 says, "For if, while we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!" God forgave us while we were His enemies and still forgives us when sin against Him continuously.
The second coming from Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." If we can't forgive others, it shows that we haven't first been forgiven by Him because a heart that is truly a heart after the Lord's is forgiving, no matter how hard it can be.
In Luke 15:11-32, Jesus tells the parable of the lost son. To summarize this story, like many of us, the son was rebellious and wanted to live his life however he pleased. He asked his father for all of his inheritance and left to live his life how he wanted. He spent all of the money and had to hit rock bottom before he came to his senses. Expecting punishment, he returned home with feelings of guilt and shame, but what he got in return surprised him. His father greeted him with opens arms, nothing but love, and gracefully forgave him.
Like the father in this story, our Heavenly Father does the same for us. When we decide that we want to be in control of our lives or sin against Him, he patiently waits for us to return and gracefully forgives us when we do. And because of this, we are to forgive others.
To continue with the story, the father threw his younger son a welcome home party and rejoiced that he had returned home. The older brother of the lost son refused to go to the party and grew hard hearted and angry. He asked his father why that even though he had been faithful and obedient for all these years had he not had a celebration/party thrown for him. The father responded with "you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and alive again; he was lost and is found."
Because the older son refused to forgive his younger brother, he became full of resentment and bitterness, and this made him just as lost to the father's love as his younger brother had been. Likewise, if we refuse to forgive, we will miss out on the experience of God's love and grace (bringing us back to the point from Matthew 6:14-15).
I know that the majority of the time, it is the people that we love the most that can hurt us the most, but we are called to be like the father in the story and forgive with grace and love because our Heavenly Father does the same for us. Harboring those feelings of vengeance, anger, and resentment is like a self inflicting wound; it prevents us from being able to live the life that God has called us to live and consumes all of our time, thoughts, and energy.
This is something that I struggle with myself because it isn't an easy thing to do. Through the years though, I have realized that people are going to mess up, and I've learned that the rewards you receive and freeness that you feel when you do choose to let go and forgive are worth it.
So the next time that someone hurts you and you find yourself starting to feel resentment sink in, I encourage you to step outside of the victim role, remember all the times that you have been forgiven, and then do the same for them.
