You know those summer flings that remind you of the song "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat? The ones where you get the feeling that it could potentially be more than just a simple summer romance? Butterflies in your stomach, a smile as wide as a Cheshire cat, and hugs and kisses that make you feel out of this world. Well...that's not what this article's about. In fact, it's about the opposite.
In order to gain some knowledge in this department (I have no experience in this department, I am in a committed relationship to my Netflix account), I took to asking fellow friends, family and anonymous people I met at the airport. Yes, you read right. Anonymous airport goers. It's amazing what stories these people have and how horrible they were.
The first story isn't necessarily a hookup story, because Jenn never let it get to that point. Actually, it's your classic case of "guy trying to get with you while he's trying to hide the fact that he's been hooking up with your friend the whole time". Yes, super classic.
"Early April, I went on Tinder and swiped right on this guy named Dillon from one of the fraternities at our school. He recognized me and asked me to come to his frats' philanthropy event and that my friend Sarah says hi. You see, my friend Sarah knows a lot of people. She's totally a social butterfly, therefore I thought nothing of this "Sarah says hi" ordeal. So, Dillon and I chatted and he seemed like a pretty cool guy so I agreed to meet up with him for coffee.
After getting coffee, I realized how clingy and relentless he was. He asked me questions like, "What's the best date you've ever been on so I can duplicate that," and stated that he "...wants to be spontaneous with someone and treat her like a princess." Now, I know some girls might think this is cute, but I certainly did not feel that this was anywhere near cute... more like creepy. In order to get away from this guy, I make up a story that I had to study for an exam at the library with some friends, and guess what? He tries to join me! After incessant, unnecessary conversation, he finally leaves, but just to my luck, starts texting and then proceeds to call me.
I tell Sarah about this pickle I'm in and she seems perplexed by the fact that this guy keeps trying to get with me. Turns out, her and Dillon sort of had a thing going on and had for a while. Also, he's a total jerk to her, which then confirmed my thoughts that this guy is a complete chump. The worst part? He used her name to potentially hook up with me. So when Dillon found out that we know what he was doing, he tried to apologize and continued to make passes at me. I pretty much told him to get lost, and it was honestly one of the most entertaining experiences of my life. I really enjoy dismantling the patriarchy and boys who think they can get away with that sort of stuff.”
--Jenn, 21
“So I brought this girl back to my room after a great night out. I decided to turn on some tunes to set the mood, and after talking for a bit, we start making out. The hookup is great… but after about 15 minutes, I begin to notice that ‘It’s a Hard Knock Life’ by Jay-Z is playing… for the 3rd time in a row. Now I don’t know if you’ve heard this song before, but it’s a mashup of Hova rapping with a bunch of little girls singing “Annie”. Pretty much the exact opposite of what you want to hear when hooking up. The only problem was that I was too into the makeout session to stop and change the song, so I just ignored it hoping she would too.
20 minutes and 14 ‘hard knock life’s’ later, she abruptly stands up, says how tired she is and that she really needs to get home. As I’m getting her a sober ride, I ask if everything’s OK. She gives me a weird look, and finally says, “It was OK until you ruined Annie for me.”
--Ben, 20
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"This guy from work named Steve was the cutest guy I had ever seen working at a snack shack. In case you didn't get that, I worked at my community pool's snack shack, your typical summer job. Anyways, I always thought there was something about the way his hair had that perfect flow, and he just understood me like no other guy I'd ever met before. That's probably the reason why I decided to do anything I could to make him mine. At first, he was hesitant, but once he let his guard down, we had the best summer ever together. When it came time for us both to go back to school, he confessed to me that he was gay and the reason for the summer fling between us was because he was trying to confirm his thoughts. I have nothing against his sexual orientation, but the fact that he just used me like that was heartbreaking and embarrassing. He then preceded to thank me for helping him. Glad I could be of assistance."
--Lindsey, 21
“I went back to this guy Jake’s frat after an awesome tailgate, and we ended up passing out on his couch by 2:30 in the afternoon. At 4pm, I woke up and really had to pee, so I quietly, yet groggily stumbled down the hall to the grossest bathroom ever (but that’s another story). As I was walking back to Jake’s room, I looked up and suddenly realized the hallway had 20 rooms with the EXACT same door.... and I had absolutely no idea which one was Jake’s.
After awkwardly standing there for 5 minutes trying to process my next move while at the same time praying that no one walked down the hall, I decided I should just go into the room I thought was Jake’s. I open door number one, and the room has 5 playing Xbox blankly stare at me with questionable looks. Instead of doing the logical thing and simply asking where Jake’s room was, I immediately shut the door and moved onto door number two.
Seven doors and multiple awkward run-ins later, I found Jake passed out on the couch right where I left him. At that point, I was so traumatized by the whole experience that I grabbed my stuff and called my friends for a ride home. Let’s just say after that experience, I never left a room without checking to see where I was first.
--Lauren, 19
