An Open Message to All The Girls who are 'OK'

An Open Message to All The Girls who are 'OK'

You're all special and you hold a value somewhere in this world. It's ok not to be ok.

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There's this girl I know. She's really pretty and is the nicest person you would ever meet. She's always happy and smiles all the time. She dyes her hair almost twice a year despite the fact she gets chemical damage every time her curls come into contact with bleach. She's college -bound, Division One to be exact.

She wants to be a lawyer or probably on CNN arguing about how Republicans have ruined the country. She loves to eat and sleep. She loves trap music and ninety's R&B; with the occasional pop on the side. She seems to have her head on right and has goals set for herself.

Keyword: SEEMS.

This girl I know has been hurt. Hurt a little too many times by friends, family, and of course boys.

She's been going through it the for the past eight years. She has dealt with bullying, death, and abuse. She tried to go to her family for help but was always told "just get over it" or "you'll be fine" or "nothing is wrong with you". This led to her closing herself off when family would come around. She couldn't tell them how she was feeling because she was afraid of this response she would get.

In school, she seemed so happy. She may have cried when her boyfriend did something to her but she was always smiling and laughing. At home, she cried and deserted herself in her room. She has low self-esteem and low confidence. She often looks at herself and thinks how everything is her fault.

She wishes she could have a better life away from all the tears and pain. She often plotted to kill herself but couldn't because she had to live for her siblings. She had to show them that despite all the obstacles she faces she is better than her mother, her aunt, her grandmother, her stepmother, her father, and everybody else.

She is not OKAY. She may say she is but she is NOT.

Who is She?

Well, she is me. She is whoever is reading this. She is the person who is trying to grow but can't because she is not in the place where she wants to be in life.

To the reader; if you feel as though the world isn't on your side, it is. You just have to find the real you and live your best life. Work on being the better you and show everyone who has tore you down that you're the baddest jawn (or bull .. if you're a boy) out here.

Here's the National Suicide Prevention Line

1-800-273-8255

As well as the National Domestic Violence Line

1-800-799-7233

Please seek help if you feel the same way I do. Find a teacher, friend, therapist, ANYONE. There are people who care. You just have to search for them.

Much Love, Syanne.

Cover Image Credit:

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I'm Proud To Be The Girl That Cares 'Too Much'

Hearing someone tell you that you care too much, instinctively makes you want to figure out how to not care as much... I am the girl who thinks about everyone

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If you aren't one, you know one. That one girl who cares about everyone, even if they are toxic to her. That one girl who would give the shirt off her back to a stranger walking down the street. The girl who wouldn't think twice about loaning you money, even though you still owe her from the last time you asked. The girl who will stay up with you until 5 in the morning, talking about the guy who broke your heart. Even though she has work at 8 and you would shut off your phone if she tried calling you past 10 p.m.

I am that girl.

I am the girl that cares too much.

I am the girl that tries too hard to make other people happy. I am the girl that puts everyone else's problems above my own. I am the girl that cares too much about what other people think. I am the girl who cares too much about pleasing everyone around here. And there's something I want everyone to know...

I am the girl who cares too much and I'm happy that way.

While I have stopped caring so much of other people's opinions and pleasing everyone, I still care about others probably more than I need to. I've learned that I cannot make everyone happy and with that, my own personal happiness has grown. I have started to put myself above others, but I will never lessen the amount of love and attention I give to those around me.

I will never stop being there for anyone who needs me. I will never stop being the girl who cares too much.

I love being the girl that cares too much.

Because while many are out there, happy as can be that they get left alone, I love being the girl that people feel comfortable turning to. I love being the friend that others feel they can call if they are stuck or just need someone to talk to.

I've learned that I should never put someone else's happiness above my own. Meaning, I should never sacrifice what makes me happy, to please someone else. If someone is a vegetarian or vegan, that's great for them. But I won't stop eating meat just to make them happy. If someone doesn't like country music, that's fine. I'm not going to stop jamming to Cat Country on my way to work.

Caring too much isn't a bad thing. In a world where nobody seems to care, I'm glad that I do. I could never imagine having the "dgaf" attitude. It's just not in my nature.

So while you can sit there and say, "you care too much." I will happily smile back at you and say "someone needs to."


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Anyone Can Be Struggling With Themselves, Including Mac Miller

Be a friend to those who struggle.

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The month of September is Suicide Awareness/Prevention Month, and this week is National Suicide Prevention Week.

Last Friday Malcolm McCormick, also known as hip-hop artist Mac Miller, passed away unexpectedly from a drug overdose at the young age of 26.

I have been a huge fan of Mac since my senior year of high school in 2009, so this really hit home. Mac was an excellent performer. He created the beats for a lot of his hits, produced them and wrote/recorded the lyrics. He is self-made, despite endorsements from Wiz Khalifa early on in his career. He continuously turned down deals with major record labels to continue his journey as an independent artist. On top of all this, Mac was also a big fighter against mental illness and depression. I can honestly say his music helped me through a lot, and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way.

The thing that upsets to me is that people only want to post things on social media, such as, "speak up if you're hurting."

First things first, if you know your friend is hurting....reach out. I speak from personal experience that when you're depressed and struggling, feeling as if you have hit rock bottom, you don't want to reach out to people, no matter who they are--and especially as a man. I wanted to battle my demons alone because it felt like unless you're going through the same thing or have in the past, you just won't understand.

That's something outsiders really don't seem to understand. That the feeling of having nothing left is not easy to speak about. There is also the chance that maybe your friend has reached out to you or someone else, but what they said wasn't taken seriously. I've talked to some friends about things that have gone wrong in my life, and there really wasn't a whole lot of attentiveness. Some people just have a really tough time talking about their feelings or even giving someone else advice about whatever is bothering them.

Don't be one to simply post things about mental health, claiming that you are there if people need someone if you won't actually be there if and when they reach out. Be that person who is there to listen, no matter who reaches out to you. Be the person to reach out to those who you feel are or may be struggling, even if it's just to ask them how they are doing. It is hard to tell how someone is feeling on the inside, but if you always remember to be aware, you could potentially help stop someone from ruining or even ending their life.

The one thing I want everyone who is struggling to know is that loss is unfortunately essential in our lives. If we never lose anything we cherish, we will never be grateful for the important things we have in life. Sometimes we have to lose things we never thought we would, in order to help us realize our potential. This may send us into a deep depression, but you must remember to never lose yourself. You cannot control what you did, but you can control what you do next.

Despite all the pain, you may have felt in your life, live each day as if it's the best day ever. This is inspired by none other than Mac Miller. Mac stated in the title song on "Best Day Ever:" "No matter where life takes me, find me with a smile/Pursuit to be happy, only laughing like a child/I never knew life could be this sweet/Got me cheesin' from cheek to cheek." There is no need to dwell on your past, but there is a great need for you to push toward your future.

Continue on ;

Rest easy, Mac. January 19, 1992 - September 7, 2018.

For more information on suicide awareness month please refer to https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Awareness-Month

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