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Your Decision To Attempt Suicide Affected Me

I am so glad that you are still here, mom.

Your Decision To Attempt Suicide Affected Me
David Rogers

Alright, I'm going to start by giving you some background. This is going to get personal to my life quickly. My mom has had cancer five times since I have been ten years old. It has all been breast cancer, but it metastasized to other organs and her spine. When I was little I didn't really know what was going on all the time with her treatments or her condition. As I got older I still didn't know much, my mom and dad kept things quiet and didn't really talk about things much, if at all. Whenever my mom would go into the hospital, my family never really told me, I just assumed, if I didn't see her for a day that is where she was. My family kept me in the dark about a lot of things concerning my mom's health and treatments. Even when I did ask things they would just give me general answers and not give me any details or specifics.

My mom had been in the hospital all the time, sometimes for weeks at a time. Once when she was in the hospital it was different though. Something seemed off about how my dad was acting. He told me that my mom didn't have her phone, which was unlike every other time that my mom had been in the hospital. My dad also told me that I couldn't call her or get a hold of her, which I thought was weird; but didn't question it because my dad told me it, and I was always taught not to question my dad.

A few months went by and I got to the low point of my life and ended up in the ER and then the mental hospital. While in the mental hospital my mom and dad came to see me one day during visiting hours and I learned that my mom had been in a mental hospital the time that she wasn't allowed to have her phone and I had no way of contacting her.

My mom and dad later told me that my mom was in the mental hospital because she had tried to kill herself, by overdosing on her pain medication because the pain had become way too much for her to bare.

Learning of this affected me in so many ways. I grew more aware of how bad my mom was. I also learned that me and my mom are more alike than I thought. I learned to treasure my mom more and check up on her more to see how she is doing and to see if she needs anything. My mom's attempt to commit suicide because of the pain made me cherish the time that I have with her now even more than I did before. My parents not telling me about this until months after it happened made me mad for a while, but I couldn't stay mad at my mom for too long because of what she had gone through.

I am so glad that my mom's attempt to commit suicide didn't work and that she is still a part of my life.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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