Maybe I said too much.
They probably think I'm crazy.
I should have just kept my mouth shut.
If you ever have thoughts like these, you probably suffer from vulnerability hangovers just like I do.
Brene Brown defines "vulnerability hangovers" as the feeling you get when you second guess a moment of self-disclosure. You feel great for awhile until you replay the moment over in your head and wish you hadn't said certain things. You feel exposed and you wish you could take it all back, but it's never that simple.
Once it's out there, there's no going back and that's a scary thought. Not knowing whether they'll accept you when you are completely and honestly YOU.
Vulnerability is messy and awkward.
I don't think I've ever met anyone who has actually enjoyed the process that is required of being vulnerable. They may enjoy the relationships that have come out of it but bringing themselves to a point where their darkest secrets and their greatest fears are out in the open is not easy. But no matter who you are, it's not easy.
Those that say it is, have either had the practice or are lying to themselves. Because the fear of being vulnerable stems from our fear of being seen, heard and known for who we truly are, it reveals our worst insecurities...even the ones we didn't know we had.
What makes people feel vulnerable?
People feel vulnerable when they share stories or try to be themselves. They feel it when they are in trouble and they need help. Sometimes, vulnerability takes the form of a girl who wants to try a different look hoping people don't think she's trying too hard. Or, it's when a fifty-something-year-old man gets laid off and has no idea how he's going to provide for his family.
It also happens when you make a choice to put yourself out there knowing there's a possibility that you could be laughed at. It's choosing to open your mouth even when you might be rejected. It's awkward and it's painful.
While it's not at all easy, it is necessary. Without vulnerability, there would be no connection. An authentic relationship would not exist. We'd live in a world full of fake and lonely people.
That's not a world anyone wants to live in. I should know because I let myself live in that world for too long and that's just too It's depressing! We need to start learning to embrace it and go with being uncomfortable.
I'd rather live through the messy and awkward stages if that meant I'd never have to feel alone again. I still suffer from vulnerability hangovers and I'm hoping it's something that I'll overcome with practice. And if not, at least I'm striving for something real.
I think it's time we ask ourselves what makes us vulnerable? Whatever that is, let's do it!