When you hear routine, you think of a mundane, daily ritual. Routine is what you do without thinking. It consists of the subconscious habits that together drive your everyday life. Tradition, however, has a much more positive connotation. Traditions are the sacred acts. They repeat at a regular interval (yearly, weekly, after a winning game, etc.) and continue for many years without change. As the holidays draw near, we need to ask ourselves a very important question: are we following holiday traditions or a holiday routine?

Do we, every year, follow the same pattern of behavior? Are we stuck in a rut to the point where we grow numb to the celebration? This is our opportunity to reconsider our view of this time of year. Following blindly a ‘tradition,’ especially one that you have outgrown or do not enjoy, changes the feelings of joy in a holiday to those of dread and stress. We must trim our holiday to-do lists the way we trim the tree. Santa is the only one who should be making an infinitely long list (and checking it twice).

It is okay to change up routine at the holidays. Perhaps the Christmas Eve game of Parcheesi no longer fits into the night as well as it used to. Or maybe two Christmas gatherings is too much to coordinate as the family continues to expand. As upsetting as it may be to break a long-standing tradition, sometimes it has to be done to preserve the essence of the celebration. The feelings of the holidays matter more than specific events. It is the emotions that make it feel like Christmas, not the routine.

One of the best ways to ‘break’ a tradition without losing its sacredness it to change it. This year, my sisters and I passed the family advent calendar to our youngest cousins. As sad as it was to see the little mouse go, we know that we are just continuing the family tradition in a new way. Our oldest cousins gave the calendar to us at a young age, so it is just a generational tradition coming full circle.

I am not advocating for breaking every holiday tradition you have, just for decluttering your holiday routine to make room for new memories. Continuing to do the exact same thing each year prevents the formation of new memories, making the years blend together. In order to differentiate, a new tradition of changing something each year might be the right solution. I promise that as long as the love is still around, the holiday will be meaningful and wonderful.