Some friendships are easy. Easy because you see each other every day. Easy because your love is understood. Easy because you have been friends for so long. Easy because the friendship is shallow enough, it doesn’t have to be anything other than laughter and smiles.
Other friendships are hard.
Hard because of jealousy. Hard because of distance. Hard because they used to be easy, and now they’re not. Hard because you care. Hard because of betrayal, selfishness or insecurity.
These friendships become a burden – a burden without a simple solution.
So, when do you let go? When do you decide the work isn’t worth it? That the joys of the friendship aren’t worth the pain?
Some friendships are so toxic, there is no fix. You have to accept your own happiness and well-being is more important than maintaining a harmful relationship. Allow yourself to detach, and love them from afar.
Others, you can try to fix. Maybe, it’s not about finding an ending, but choosing to adapt. Maybe, it's about choosing confrontation and compromise. If both sides are willing to try, that can be enough.
Maybe you need to change your expectations.
Maybe, it's not about you, but about them. Maybe, you’re there for them. You are their blessing. Sometimes, this is not a reciprocated sentiment, and that is OK. Maybe, it can work as a more one-sided friendship.
Maybe, it can't. Friendships require selflessness, truth and trust. If this is one-sided, it may not be worth it.
Care enough to be honest. Care enough to try.
Wayne Dyer wrote, "Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others." Control you. Change you, but don't make the mistake of blaming yourself for anyone else's actions. You are not to blame for their sadness, anger or pain. You cannot fix anyone else. It's not your job, and you don't have that power.
Sometimes, your self-awareness and conscious compromises are not enough. I'm sorry for that. People change, and with that, friendships change. If the friendship can grow in sync with personal growth, wonderful. If it can't, don't try to make it. Some friendships are meant to be temporary, as shitty as it sounds.
We all meet people along our personal journeys, and, if we are lucky, we find people to be with us until the end. Sometimes, our paths cross with other people's for a short time. Fighting to make these friendships last is exhausting. Letting go is scary, but it can be necessary.
Growth, change and distance are hard things for friendships to outlast; the reality is some friendships just don't make the cut. If the friendship was real, you will be friends for life, even if it takes time for both parties to realize it.
To all the friends I've lost along the way, know I'm rooting for you. I want all the success, happiness and love the world has to offer for you.
