I'd like to consider myself a relatively confident person, but I definitely have my moments.
(Yay for Demi Lovatolyrics).
Like many men and women, I have struggled with body image issues. My insecurity started at a very young age. I remember being n the second grade and I put myself on a diet because one of my classmates made a comment about my stomach being too pudgy. I didn't know there was anything wrong with my body until that comment was made to me. After that, I started to compare my body to my classmates, family members, and of course, what I saw on TV.
It makes me really sad to think that little seven-year-old me was self-conscious of her body. I was just a baby. What's worse is that there are young girls and boys who start hating their body at a much earlier age like four and five years old.
As I got older my insecurity got worse. Every time I would go to family reunions, someone would make some kind of comment about me being thick, or how big my legs and stomach was.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article entitled "I Know I'm Beautiful." In that article, I wrote about how I didn't care if people thought I was pretty or not because I already believed that I was beautiful.
This past year has been amazing for me as far as my self-esteem. I have really been working hard to love myself. I was tired of constantly hating myself, so I have been trying to get over that part of me and just love Jonnae because Jonnae is pretty darn great.
However, even the most confident people can feel self-conscious at times.
Most of the time if someone says something ugly to me, I can ignore it, especially if it someone I do not care about. However, when people who I am close to say negative things about my body, it gets to me a bit more.
Recently a comment was made about my body, basically implying that I was fat.I tried to ignore it initially, but it really hurt me and it affected how I felt about myself when I looked in the mirror. I started to become uncomfortable in clothes that I thought was cute on me and I began to walk around with my arms covering my stomach. I started to digress to the girl who I didn't want to be any more just because of one stupid comment.
I refuse to become that girl again, so I have to remind myself that I am beautiful and my body is beautiful. I have to stop myself from saying negative things about my body. When I am walking, I need to hold my head up high with my shoulders back, not slouched covering my belly. I cannot keep letting negative people affect the way I see myself. If I continue to do that then I will never truly feel comfortable in my own skin.
This all takes time, though.
I know that I am not going to love myself overnight. But what I do know is that I am going to continue my fight to love myself because life is way too short to hate myself.
To anyone who is becoming self-conscious again, please don't give up. Please continue to speak highly of yourself. Know that you're the bomb.com. But also know that there are going to be negative people who are going to try to bring you down. Be strong enough to ignore haters because they're everywhere. Loving yourself takes time, but one day we're gonna get to a place where we can say that we truly love ourselves.
