“Wait... you’re a VIRGIN?”
That’s a common question that comes up when talking about my sex life, or my lack thereof. Their eyes open wide, because it’s not believable that a girl these days hasn't partaken of this totally addicting activity. In real talk, we virgins are an uncommon breed where the hookup culture has become something second nature. For those of you not knowledgeable in colloquial terms, the hookup culture is that of one night stands and steamy periodical hook ups, something completely without compromise. People aren't wanting someone special right now. They want to live in the moment with whoever attractive is around, bask in it, then move on without any broken hearts. This I definitely understand, as I have been part of this practice myself. However, that is the exact reason why I haven’t had sex.
Ever since coming to the United States, I have been encouraged to believe that sex isn't a big deal. Sex is a fun activity that everyone is doing, very nonchalant, yet totally worth venturing into. Losing one’s virginity is like a rite of passage, a ticket into this prestigious club with perks. Coming from a Latin American country, I was taught that being a virgin is something respectable, something to be proud of, and most of all cherished. Here, these actions might be regarded as being ‘prudish’ or someone ‘uptight’ or ‘religious’. Not being a prude, uptight or religious, I defeat the expectations of a typical virgin. However, sometimes I feel like less of a person because I’m not able to understand what people are talking about when they talk about sex. This might sound silly, but I have major FOMO about sex. I’ve sometimes thought, "What is the big deal?" And I keep one eye open for the next hookup – however, it doesn’t end up happening.
Although everything people say might be true, I still think that my virginity is something more than nonchalant. Might it not be something super special, I definitely don’t want to give it to the drunk surfer dude pressuring me to find out if I have a condom. Or the fraternity man I met a couple of hours ago.
People ask, "What are you waiting for?"
I think my body deserves someone that cares way past one or two hookups. Someone that will appreciate that I’m trusting them, that I'm breaking my walls installed by fallen relationships and showing them that I care too. Sorry mom, that won't necessarily be my husband, but as long as I'm comfortable then there's no reason not to.
To all you virgins out there, you are not alone. Whatever reason it may be, you are entitled to it, and don't feel like it is an obligation to have sex to be accepted. It will happen eventually, and that day will be a celebration of its own. *Cues margaritas*
