Strong women can’t fall in love.
Being fiercely independent is an empowering sensation, especially for women, but for those that do not know the difference between acting strong and “cold-hearted,” it can be mentally damaging.
The feeling of being able to do everything on your own and knowing that you have worked to accomplish your goals is amazing. You can take care of yourself, you don’t seek the approval of others and you’ve mastered the answer to: “You’re incredible! Why are you single?” The answer is simple – you just don’t need anyone in your life that can’t emotionally and mentally support you.
This type of support is difficult to find, especially for pulled-together and outgoing women. These women don’t fall in love easily because we believe love has the power to stop us from achieving what we want in life. It can be suffocating, scary and stupid. We can quickly switch our emotions on and off, and saying goodbye to someone is one of our greatest and most practiced strengths. This mastered skill of detachment has allowed us to view love as an emotion, and strong women cannot feel anything ubiquitously.
Independence is a trait you should thrive on, instead of believing that is represents how fast you can fall out of love. Strong is a measure of your integrity – it means you call the shots. You have people that can always count on you, but more importantly, you can undoubtedly count on yourself. This independence has made you reliable, but to many it can be intimidating. Here are a few things to expect when you try to be in a relationship with a self-proclaimed strong woman:
She will always be unapologetic towards herself.
This means she won’t constantly look for your approval because she knows she doesn’t need it. She has no shame in showing of all of her strengths and weaknesses because she has learned to accept herself for who she is.
She makes all her own decisions.
She doesn’t allow the influence of others to dictate her every move, but she does need support to make the right decisions. Whatever she decides will be a choice she wants to make, but support along the way from people who matter is necessary.
She speaks her mind.
She has no problem communicating everything that crosses her mind – whether you want to hear it or not. She values honesty more than anything else in a relationship, and if you break that, she will never forgive you. She respectfully values her ego, and if it gets hurt, she will move on faster than you can imagine. Be honest with her – she will appreciate it.
She would like someone to share her life with.
She is fine on her own and doesn’t truly need anyone, but she wants to feel a connection with someone other than herself. She wants to share her life with others, whether it’s romantically or not. Although her strength is consistent, feeling secure and close with someone other than herself allows her to find the support she needs. Seeking support from others won’t make her weak, and if it is done the right way, she will truly learn the value of letting someone in.
I believe in love, but I believe in my strength more. That is why I find the assumption that “strong women can’t fall in love” to be unquestionably false. Strong women have spent their lives learning how to take care of themselves, how to understand themselves and how to learn to not let in those that don’t deserve their attention. We aren’t “cold-hearted” – we’re high-powered. We have the ability to fall in love, and when we do, we fall hard.
I have learned that settling for less than what I wanted and deserved left me with unfulfilled expectations, dishonest connections and ultimately a waste of my energy and feelings. Being able to recognize that you are in charge of your present and future relationships leads to becoming overwhelmed by the pressure of taking on someone else's feelings. In order to put an end to the constant pressure and judgment coming from those that don’t understand what it’s like to be strong and not just a “cold-hearted” woman, you have to stand up for yourself. It will lead to a reevaluation of your standards, you’ll find out who matters and who doesn’t. Most importantly, your self-confidence will be your greatest satisfaction.
