I should have known my life was different from the day I discovered that on websites and job applications, when you're Spanish there is only one option. You're not Dominican, Puerto Rican, or Mexican. Your either Latino or Latina. Another thing is you can't be mixed or multiracial. Your either Native American, Caucasian, Asian, African-American, or Hispanic. Which sucks because I'm both Native and African American too, but apparently when filling out nationalities, being Latina overruns all else.

I just let it slide though, I mean I knew there were hardships of being Hispanic and stereotypes that Hispanics have even about each other. Like for example the never ending fight between Dominican and Puerto Ricans. What's it even about at this point? Yes, like I said I was aware of many hardships I would have to deal with. I just never thought the hardships that I went through would ever be because of my family.

In grade school I attended the same school that my mother taught at. Her school offered a better education than my zone schools and she wanted the best for me, like most parents do. My mom taught at a predominantly Caucasian school and being the only Hispanic girl there was difficult. I couldn't hang out in my neighborhood because the kids there would misbehave. They were the type of kids that would hang out in the street and would grow up to, "give us Puerto Ricans a bad name" my mom would say. Yet, she also didn't let me hang out with the kids from my school unless they came over my house, so I grew up often alone.

In high school (both that I went to) kids were going out to no ID events, getting piercings and throwing parties without parents but with alcohol. Meanwhile, my mom still picked me up and dropped me off at school every day. She would attend any party I was invited to, with me to meet the parents hosting it and don't even get me started on teen clubs. At that time for me it was taboo to even think of piercing anywhere but ear as well. She'd tell me in Spanish not to get any ideas when I was with my friends or that she wasn't their parents, but she made sure I knew she was mine. I often felt trapped in life. I was the goody two shoes girl that I didn't want to be, but had no choice but to be. The kids that surrounded me had no problem disrespecting and going behind their parents back, but I couldn't do it. Yes, I wanted the adventure, but at what cost?

I wasn't allowed to take the bus until 17.

I wasn't allowed to leave the house past 6.

I couldn't go to the corner store all by myself.

I couldn't close my bedroom door unless I was changing .

I wasn't allowed on my phone past 9.

I couldn't "hang out " on the streets.

I felt like I was missing out, but was I?

The kids from my neighborhood were rowdy and annoying and probably grew up the same way. I wouldn't know, they're not my friends. The kids from my school were undisciplined. My mom being a teacher heard complaints from their parents and I see my former classmates all over Instagram. Most seem to have remained disrespectful. The girl who grew up, strict was independent.

She grew up safe.

She grew up cared for.

She grew up spoiled.

She grew up on beaches, and roller coasters and long car rides to unknown destinations .

I grew up Hispanic.

Another thing about growing up in a strict household as a Puerto Rican, is that above all you learn that you come first and that your family puts you first. My family feeds me even if they can't feed themselves. My aunts and uncles would give me a bed even if it meant they would be sleeping on the floor. My cousins would walk miles if I needed them. My parents would send me away to St.Rose, even if it means giving up their early retirement and dream house. Yes I grew up strict, but I no longer see the rules as hardships. What I see it as is unconditional love.