I Took A Month Off Of My Life To Work On My Relationship With God

I Took A Month Off Of My Life To Work On My Relationship With God

I went AWOL for a month and it was the best decision of my life.


When winter break rolled around, I kept feeling this odd, lonely sensation surrounding me. I didn't feel like anyone back in my college circle cared about my wellbeing. I was falling pretty deep into my depression and it was getting to a point where I felt like I had my head just barely above water. I knew there was a part of me that felt lost so I set out to find that missing piece within myself.

One day, my parents and I went to our regular church and the message seemed so catered to me that I ended up sobbing during it. Our pastor talked about the effects life has on us when we don't fill that missing piece of us with God. If we don't fill our hearts with God, we will never feel complete in our lives. That's how many people get into the world of drugs, casual sex, and alcohol so easily anymore because they are trying to fill a void inside of them with temporary pleasures rather than the lifelong lasting love of God. Not to get all "preachy" on you but it's true.

This day and age, we tend to give into the materialistic pleasures life has to offer, but those only fill us for a short amount of time before we start to feel that void sinking in all over again inside of us. When we fill ourselves with something more meaningful, we stop looking for those ordinary pleasures because we have something extraordinary to fulfill us instead.

When I heard all of this, as I mentioned before, I was sobbing. I felt like God was speaking directly to me in my time of need and I took it all to heart. That day on for the next month, I decided to cut off most of my social media accounts (some I had to keep for school reasons only, didn't use them for recreational use) and said goodbye to my phone in hopes of pursuing the love God has for me within myself.

Reflecting on that decision over a month later, I have never been more proud of myself for making such a bold decision. This is the first time in my life I have really started to advocate for my own needs and let myself be happy without the help of someone else being by my side. I finally feel free enough to say what's on my mind, speak the truth about what my life has been like without fear, and above all, I finally feel whole again in my life. I finally feel like I am my own person and that no one can ever take that away from me. I don't feel like I need any sort of temporary pleasures to fulfill me like most college students do because I have something greater inside of me, eternal, everlasting love.

If you're ever in a spot of your life where you feel lost or inadequate, remember, fulfill yourself with something meaningful, not something temporary. :)

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When God Says, “Not Right Now.”

“God give me faith to wait and not manipulate. To trust You fully, no matter how my circumstances may appear." — Lynn Cowell


One of the most frustrating yet beautiful things is when God tells us “no" or “not right now."

At the time, you may have agony or desperation for this one thing to work out in your life, but it slips away from you. You may ask God why. Why does He want you to be unhappy? Why does He want to take away your dreams?

At the time, you cannot see how much God truly is working in your life, but He is. In my life, every time that I was disappointed that a plan or dream didn't work out, I was devastated. I didn't want to be in a position where I was challenged and tested. I wanted all the blessings to flow and to fulfill what I thought was my plan in life. But that's exactly what it was: my plan.

I did not see at the time that that is not what God intended for me and that He actually had far greater plans than I did for myself. He needed to mold me into who I am supposed to be today. Along the way I have met the most amazing people that have had a huge impact on my life, have gone through the most amazing experiences with God, and I wouldn't trade going through all the trials because it has truly made me into the woman I am today.

“What God does in us while we wait is as important as what we are waiting for." – John Ortberg

God is continually, endlessly, working in our lives.

We may not see it, but He is. We may blame God for all the things that are going wrong in our lives, but we never see that in the end, we were supposed to go through the low valleys to get to the high, amazing, and beautiful mountains in our lives.

I truly believe that it's when you're at the bottom of the darkest pit in your life that you can actually see the light of God shining brightly upon you. During these times, pray to Him to lead you to understanding that this is all a part of His plan for you.

It hurts God to see that His child is suffering, but in order to carve out just the person that you are supposed to be, you must go through challenges. Where you are today is no accident. God is using the challenge you are in to shape you and prepare you for the place He wants you tomorrow. When it comes to God's plan, timing is absolutely everything.

Looking back on all the events that I had to endure before getting to where I am now, I know that I had to go through the trials in order to be just who I am today, which is happier than I have ever been because I know God and His plan for me. Waiting is the most difficult job of hope, but you must remain faithful and know that God is guiding you.

“When I wait, you strengthen my heart." Psalm 27:14

When you are waiting for God's righteous plan, don't lose faith in His goodness. He only wants the best for you, and in the end, you will look back and see just how much He truly was working in your life. Be patient and the blessings will flow.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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Self-Reflection Is Always Beneficial

Always ask yourself how you can improve your life.


Self reflection is an important part of growing up. It is important to sit back and think about who you are and who you strive to be. I think that dwelling on the past too much can be extremely harmful, but that a little bit of reflecting on your past can be great.

Think about it, every choice you have made in your life so far has led to where you are now. Every single choice, no matter how small it may have seemed, has had a major impact on your entire life. The choices we make definitely change the path that we take.

Most likely, every friend you made changed your outlook something. Every place you went to will remain in your memories. Maybe you experienced something because of certain choices that led you to learn a valuable lesson.

Maybe those dreadful things of your past needed to happen to allow you to grow. No one deserves to hurt, but sometimes hurting then healing can be replenishing.

I think we should value our lives because they are so unique. No one on this earth will have had the same experiences you have. Even if someone was following you around 27/4 or was literally joined at the hip with you, they would not have the same life as you, because their thoughts would be different from yours and their perspective would be different as well.

You will never get the same day twice, so it is important to make every day the best you can make it. Try to laugh in stressful situations. Try to breathe when there seems to be no air left for you. It is vital to keep moving forward. If you look back, you'll trip on everything in front of you. Do not look into your past and examine your mistakes negatively. We grow from mistakes. We live and we learn. Use those mistakes as a study guide to become a better you. Use your past to your advantage and try to give yourself a better future.

It is important to know that life is a roller-coaster with twist and turns, peaks, and sudden drops that will make you feel sick to your stomach and scared for what's waiting at the bottom. But if you fear life, you will never enjoy the fun parts.

Look back and examine yourself but don't write a novel about your mistakes. Move past them and live a better life. Spread love, be kind, and be grateful for what you have overcome. Those hurdles you went through have only made you stronger.

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