I used to dread going swimming because I had to wear a bathing suit. In seventh grade, I spent hours trying to straighten my hair (to no avail) because it always seemed fuzzy and weird in comparison to my classmates’. For a while I refused to run in public because I felt self-conscious compared to all of the other slim, speedy runners on the road. Sometimes I look in the mirror and my arms are too big and my body is shaped weird. I don’t even remotely resemble any of the girls in the magazines. Somedays, I’ll think that I’m wearing a cute outfit, and when I look at myself, I see a middle-aged mom. My hair is never shiny, my face gets shiny and red, my fingers are fat and my feet are square. Honestly, I could go on and on, and I’m sure this isn’t something that I am alone in.
It’s not easy to be surrounded by pictures of people who are size two when you aren’t a size two. It’s not easy to turn on the TV and see people who seem so “effortlessly cool” in jeans and a T-shirt when you feel like a slouchy slob in the same outfit. It’s not easy to be body-confident in a society that praises one, unobtainable body. The truth is, we all try to appear more confident than we are. We post the pictures we look the best in. We wear the clothes the magazines tell us will flatter our body types. We work hard to disguise what we see as our flaws in an attempt to keep them hidden from the world.
Recently, I decided I was going to take a stand. I still have insecurities, and I still find myself wishing I looked like this or that. But I decided that these feelings won’t consume me. I want to live my life. I don’t want to be self-conscious about how bad my dance moves are, or about what I look like in a bathing suit. I want to dance, and I want to go to the beach! I don’t want to worry about what people think when they see me running. I want to run a 5k. I refuse to let a bad hair day stop me from having the night of my life, and I refuse to let a stupid insecurity stop me from wearing a dress I think is cute.
Instead of worrying about what our bodies look like, we should embrace all that they can do. I can run, I can walk, I can swim, dance and travel all over the world. My body might not be aesthetically perfect, but, as a beautifully put Pinterest quote once said, “Mother Teresa didn’t walk around worrying about her thighs, she had shit to do.” In all the time that we spend criticizing ourselves, we could be building each other and ourselves up. It’s old news we shouldn’t judge people based on their appearances. So, why can’t we start with ourselves?
There are so many more important things in our lives than what we think we look like. I’ve decided that if I want to dance, I’m going to dance. If I want to go to the gym, I’m going to work out even if the girl next to me is running six-minute miles without breaking a sweat. I’m going to get out there and be confident and feel strong, smart and capable, because I am strong, smart and capable.
No one is ever going to be perfect, and even the people who we see as “perfect” undoubtedly have insecurities of their own. When we orient our focus around protecting ourselves from these insecurities though, we miss out on our own lives. As cheesy as it sounds, we should feel beautiful for who we are, for all that our bodies and minds are capable of. Life is about so much more than how many Instagram likes we get, how flat our stomachs are, or how to get rid of my stupid, fat fingers. It’s not for worrying about hair or thighs or cellulite or acne. Life is for living, fully and vibrantly, with the beautiful, healthy bodies and minds that we have been given. And I aim to truly live.
