You probably clicked on this article because you figured, "Hey, that sounds like me! I'm single and ready to mingle...but wait, no one's mingling." I hear you, loud and clear. I have met tons of incredible women at college who are all asking themselves the same questions: Am I unlovable? Why am I still single? What does she have that I don't? How can I make him like me? It seems unfair that we are supposed to calmly wait for the man of our dreams to come and swoop us off our feet. We, as women, have it ingrained in our brains from a young age that the best thing for us to do is go to college, get a job, be pursued by a wonderful man, get married, and have kids. Not only that, but we are told to do this fast because after all, our biological clocks are ticking right? However, if we throw ourselves at a man we appear desperate and if we don't we seem stuck up and uninterested.
It's a tricky time to be a single girl, especially in today's dating scene. It's hard for girls to know what the right move is and who the right man is. Quite frankly, many single women find their plans being put on hold because they haven't found someone to take the next steps in life with. Tradition has prevented women from recognizing their own potential and their other options. Don't get me wrong, I like many, hope to one day find my prince charming and live happily ever after. But I want so much more than that, too. While we could wait around for that man to show up and for our lives to start, there are numerous other ways to spend our time instead of waiting on a man.
1. Date yourself.
While it may sound silly, making time to get to know who you are and who you want to be when you're single is so important. Spend this time in your life doing what is best for you and exploring what you want for yourself.
2. Travel.
You will never again be in the place that you are now. You are single and have no one to hold you back (not that healthy relationships do this, but you might be less likely to adventure if you have someone you are leaving behind). Take this time to go everywhere and anywhere. Use your hard earned money to see different parts of the world and culture yourself. Don't wait for a special someone to start experiencing great things.
3. Pursue your career goals.
This is one of the rare points in your life where you can freely pursue your career without other distractions or obligations getting in your way. It is also the point in your life where you only have to worry about your own financial security and no one else's. So take the risky internship, work abroad, or become a work addict. Find something you love doing and become an expert at it.
4. Make Friends.
Regardless of where you are in life, friends are the people you cannot get through the day without. Making time for new people and to build relationships with others will help give you a foundation for new experiences and encounters. You are in a perfect position to give time away to others and to create wonderful relationships, even if it's not THE relationship.
5. Move.
While this isn't an option for everyone, if you have the opportunity to move somewhere new and you feel it's the right thing, do it. Because in order to meet new people and to have new experiences, you might have to go somewhere you've never been before. Maybe getting away from your normal routine is a route to freedom for you. Take a risk and move 25 miles or 2000 miles away. Change is a great way to push your limits and keep moving forward toward exciting things.
6. Learn something new.
Pick up a new hobby, interest, or skill. Just like friends build and shape you, the things you do and experience influence you. Learn how to do something you've always wanted and explore new passions. Free yourself to try things that have always sparked your interest. This time of singleness is all about YOU. Becoming, pursuing, and enjoying whoever it is that you really are.
7. Volunteer.
It may sound silly, but making time to serve others will reveal beauty in yourself that you may not have been aware of before. New passions and interests will spark from helping others and giving back. You may find a new pursuit and it will help you fill your time with something worthwhile.
8. Find security in yourself.
Before you can find comfort in a healthy relationship, you need to value yourself. Take this period in your life to learn your worth. You have been beautifully designed and are a precious treasure. Find beauty in your passionate soul and fall in love with yourself. A healthy relationship can only be based on both people knowing their true value and worth, rather than looking for another person to validate them.
Now, girls, I hope you understand that I am not trying to tear you down or tell you it's wrong to want a man. But I do hope you recognize that you are already capable of accomplishing your goals and adventuring your heart out. You do not need a man to have worth. So recognize your own value and start living because life will keep flying by whether you have a man by your side or not. You are enough and someone someday will realize that. But for now, accept that this time of singleness does not have to hold you back from anything.
