“Smile when your heart is breaking, smile even though it’s aching. When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by.”
My apologies to Charlie Chaplin but that lyric above is probably the worst advice I’ve ever heard. Pretending to be happy when you’re not is unhealthy. Pretending you’re okay, when you’re devastated is unhealthy. Optimism is a good thing, but smiling through your pain and sorrow is dangerous. We live in world that hardly recognizes that mental illness is as real as any other illness
There’s a misconception going around in the world that smiling makes you happier. These are lies, blatant lies, unhealthy, damaging lies. Research says that smiling when you don’t want to can lead to emotional dissonance which causes psychological stress. Pretending. Is. Unhealthy.
Aside from being a mental health thing, this can also be construed as a gendered thing. I hear, see, and experience a lot of girls and women being told to smile, but, unless I’m missing something, the same is not true of guys. Guys don’t tell other guys to smile. Contrary to popular belief women do not exist to be aesthetically pleasing, so more likely than not, the girl you think would look so much prettier if she smiled doesn’t care nearly as much as you do.
You never know what’s going on in someone’s life. Maybe their mother just died. Maybe they were just expelled from their university. Maybe they just got a phone call from their doctor saying that they have cancer. Maybe they are clinically depressed. Maybe this person is feeling fine, but just has a lot on their mind in that particular moment. YOU. DON’T. KNOW. Maybe you think you’re being nice, but depending on the person’s situation you might just be, being tone deaf and make them feel worse.
If you’re happy that’s great. That’s amazing. But not everyone else is all the time. Sometimes a frown or tears are justified and quite frankly none of your business. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to suppress their emotions to make you feel better. If you notice someone around you looking kind of sad there are less annoying things to say to him or her than, ”smile.” Things that are thoughtful and considerate. Ask if they’re okay. Ask if they need to talk. Ask if there is anything you can do for them. Do not tell people to look or feel. I’m sorry if other people’s emotions are inconvenient for you, but too bad.
