Dear... everyone,
Stop telling fat women that self-love is not for them.
I don't know how many times I've professed self-love for myself and my body and someone has told me to stop "glorifying my obesity." Me loving myself has nothing to do with my obesity. I deserve to love myself just as much as any other thinner person should be able to. Having love for yourself knows no size, gender, race, age, religion, sexual orientation or nationality.
Stop telling fat women that they will never find love at their size. It simply isn't true. Fat women all over the world find love for themselves. Fat women get married, have babies and live full lives.
Stop telling fat women that they will feel better about how they look if they lose weight. Self-esteem and self-confidence are much deeper than just the outward appearance. No matter if you're fat or thin, if you have a problem with your body, losing weight will not help. See: anorexia, bulimia, etc.
Stop telling fat women that they should not accept their bodies, even at the size it is at. Hating your body will not change the fact that a person is fat. This goes with the paragraph above.
Stop telling fat women that a little exercise will make them feel better about themselves. While exercise DOES raise our endorphins, which can make you happy, it is only temporary. You can't exercise away destructive thoughts.
Stop telling fat women to wear loose-fitting clothing. If a shirt fits well, they should wear it, regardless of how you feel about it. Does the shirt look unflattering? It doesn't matter. Are her shorts too short? It still DOESN'T MATTER. It is her body, and she will wear what she wants to wear.
Stop telling fat women they they should cover themselves, so as to not be seen. Fat women have a right to look sexy and feel great. Fat women have the right to show cleavage (as part of their free speech/free expression rights). If you don't like seeing the tops of a fat woman's mammaries, or if you don't like seeing a form-fitting dress on a curvaceous woman, simply turn your eyes away.
Stop telling fat women to stop eating. Eating is essential for health, no matter what is being eaten. You do not have a right to shame a woman who is putting food into her body to nourish it, no matter what is being eaten. Don't wanna see a fat woman feed her face? TURN AWAY.
Stop telling fat women that their mental illness is because of their size. Problems with mental illness are simply imbalances of chemicals in the brain. That is fixed by medicine and medicine alone. No amount of shaming a fat woman for her weight is going to make her mental illness any better. NEW FLASH: it actually makes it worse.
Stop telling fat women that they are not fat, but "beautiful." Fat is not a bad word. It is an adjective to describe a body. It is not an identity. It is not an insult. Many fat women are fat AND beautiful, and the two are not polar opposites.
And, finally:
Stop being "concerned" for the health of fat women. You aren't concerned about health, you're concerned about appearance. You aren't nearly as concerned for the girl who is starving herself silently or for the other girls who stuff their faces with horrendous, fat-filled foods, erroneous amounts of alcohol and all kinds of drugs. As long as she's skinny and pretty, you don't care. If a fat woman so much as eats, people jump that they should watch what they eat and exercise more. You are not the doctor of a fat woman, you don't have the right, or the authority, to determine the health of a fat woman.
Stop getting involved with fat women, simple as that. Fat women do not need you. You are not our saviors. You will not save us by harassing us about our weight or food choices. You are irrelevant to the lives of fat women, so stop being involved.
Sincerely,
A fat-as-heck, body positive, independent, self-made woman.
