Tease (noun): A person who makes fun of someone playfully or unkindly. - Dictionary Definition
Tease (noun): A person who won't have sex with somebody when an outside person thinks they should be having sex with that person. - Socially Accepted Definition By High School and College Students.
After getting out of a relationship, you realize that you're going to have to get back out there and start all over with someone new and move on. What you don't realize is that people are going to relentlessly pressure you to move on. Oh, and by move on they don't mean romantically; they mean sexually. In this day and age, moving on isn't getting a new boyfriend or girlfriend; it's having sex with someone else.
People think that to get over someone, you have to get under someone else. Current dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble make it easier to put the pressure on as well by having the ability to get to know hundreds of people in one day without even leaving your room. You shouldn't be expected to have sex with someone the first time you meet them or within the first month because that is what they're used to from some of the people they meet on these apps. You should not be held to the same expectations as someone who is looking for a friends with benefits with no strings attached or someone who is looking for a one night stand when that is not what you are looking for. You should not be expected to have sex with someone within the first month just because that has now become the norm. And since when did having sex with someone within a certain time frame take precedence over having sex when you're ready? That should be the norm, having sex when you're good and ready.
You shouldn't have to be worried about people talking behind your back or calling you a tease because you're not ready to have sex with someone! You should not feel so pressured by other people to have sex that you start pressuring yourself to be ready to do it because at this point you feel like there's something wrong with you and that you're doing something wrong because you don't want to have sex. You should not be so terrified of all of the pressure that you're scared to talk to guys or girls because you know if you start talking to someone you're going to be pressured to have sex with them. And if you do make it past that fear and start talking to someone and it's going well, you should not be scared to kiss them because if you just kiss them but don't have sex with them, apparently you're a tease.
Let me make this very clear. I do not owe you anything. You buying me dinner does not entitle you to sex with me. You "putting in a lot of time and effort" talking to me does not entitle you to sex with me. You being used to having sex with girls on the first night does not entitle you to having sex with me on the first night...or ever. I do not owe you anything. What I choose to do with my body is exactly that, MY choice, and I'll be damned if you try to make that choice for me because you think you've "earned it" or are entitled to it.
For me personally, kissing is on a completely different level than having sex. Kissing someone is a way to find out if there is a spark and to move past the friends stage. Just because I like someone enough to kiss them does not mean I like them enough to have sex with them and I shouldn't be called a tease because I'm ready to kiss them but I'm not ready to have sex with them. I should not feel obligated to have sex with someone because I kissed them. Where did my choice go in all of this? Since when does what other people think I should do and the pace they think I should move at become right and what I am comfortable with and the pace I'm ready to move at become wrong? You shouldn't have to be scared to stick to what you're comfortable with and be yourself. You shouldn't get torn down for not doing something that you're not ready to do and could regret for the rest of your life. People don't understand the effects their words have on people.
By calling someone a tease and talking about them behind their back along with everything else, you are putting an immense amount of pressure to do something that they're not ready to do. Something that could ruin the rest of their life if they were unlucky enough to have an unwanted pregnancy or get an STD. By calling someone a tease you're scaring them off from talking to someone new and moving any further with someone new because if they don't move at the pace you think they should be moving at, they're a tease. Newsflash, not being ready to have sex, does not make you a tease!
Slut shaming, tease shaming, virgin shaming, you name it shaming, it all needs to stop!! The fact that someone chooses to have sex with multiple people does not make them any less of a person than someone who chooses not to have sex with anybody. Whether you have sex with a million people or have sex with no one, that is your choice and it doesn't define who you are or make you a good or bad person. Just like a relationship where sex is involved does not make it any more of a relationship than one that does not involve sex. These are all personal choices and there is no right or wrong or good or bad choice, the right choice is what you are most comfortable with and what is right for you. You shouldn't have to be worried about being judged or called names for when you choose to have sex with someone. You should have sex with someone when you are both ready, and if you're ready on the first night then awesome, if you're not ready until marriage then that's just as awesome. You should always wait until you're ready, whether that be a couple seconds or a couple of years, you should not make that decision until you're good and ready and if that's something that people want to judge you for then that's their own problem. Because these are all choices that have nothing to do with and don't effect anyone other than the people making the choice, so why do people care so much about what other people do or don't do? It's like you can't do anything right. If you have sex, you're a slut. If you don't have sex, you're a tease. It's ridiculous.
There's nothing wrong with having sex, there's nothing wrong with not having sex. The only thing that's wrong is people judging you and pressuring you about whichever one you choose to do. If people put in even half of the amount of time and effort building each other up that they put into tearing each other down, the world would be a much more beautiful place.
