To this day, I still remember a classmate of mine saying "pads are gross, just use a freaking tampon." I was 12-years-old, standing in our middle school locker room, changing for basketball practice.
By this time, I had had my period for about a year, but I was still trying to get comfortable with my body/vagina/menstrual period. I was extremely afraid of tampons, and this was the first time that I ever felt shame for my choice in sanitary products. I had tried using tampons several times, but after a while, I just gave up. I found pads to be more comfortable, easy-to-use, and honestly, non-threatening.
The same year that I was shamed in the locker room, my best friend and I were walking with one of her swim teammates. My best friend, the only other person I knew that was afraid of using tampons, got shamed right in front of me. I'll never forget the teammate explaining to my best friend how she wouldn't be able to swim if she didn't learn how to use a tampon, and then proceeding to explain how to use a tampon.
She said, "Just shove it up there, that's what my mom told me." I asked my friend's teammate if she used other sanitary products, and she said, "My mom only gave me tampons." Not only did my best friend sink when hearing her teammates warning and instruction, but like me, she was afraid of tampons and uncomfortable in her newfound womanhood, and I felt the shame cast over her. I also felt sad for her teammate too. I couldn't imagine being forced into using one kind of sanitary product, by your own mother.
Late 2018, I was having a conversation with two ladies that I worked with about sanitary products. They both had jumped on the menstrual cup wagon, and I had explained that I had used tampons starting at 16, but I stopped using them in 2017, due to multiple issues (pain, blood clots, stained underwear) that I had experienced while using tampons over the past 4 years.
Immediately, both ladies started pushing me to try a menstrual cup, something that I had tried and didn't like. I explained that I was using pads because of my issues with tampons and for comfort. I also explained that I had read into a lot of the new sanitary products on the market, but I still felt more comfortable using pads. Almost immediately, both ladies proceeded to subliminally express how they felt that pads and tampons were "disgusting." By the end of the conversation, I felt the same shame that I had felt 10 years prior.
Then last week, I was scrolling through Twitter and read a post that said, "Grow up and wear a tampon." The post had one retweet and two likes, and I, at 21, finally didn't feel shame for my choice in sanitary products. I am comfortable in my womanhood, and I am comfortable in my choice of sanitary products, but I am NOT comfortable with the fact that this shame still exists and is not discussed.
I was bewildered by the post.
In this century, the fact that there are women in the world that think they can vocalize their opinion on someone's use of sanitary products is beyond me. It is saddening that WOMEN are shaming other WOMEN over something that almost all women deal with for half their lives, and honestly, their entire lives! I would extend on menstrual periods and include women with urinary, bladder, or bowel issues. This would encompass all women in all parts of life.
Our bodies are constantly changing, and our choices on how to deal with those changes are entirely up to us, as individuals.
Parents, teach your daughters about their bodies and give them all the options when they start their periods.
Do not shame them if they choose one form of sanitary product over another or if they choose to free bleed.
Do not force them to use one product over another, and above all, teach your daughters, these young women, to always be mindful when they speak about other women's bodies and bodily functions.
This is a mutual experience for the majority of women, and no part of it should be shamed.
At any age, 12, 21, 50, or 85, shaming a woman for her choice in sanitary products is disrespectful, but if we start teaching women from a young age to be respectful of the choices that other women make regarding their bodily changes then we can end the shaming.
