Growing up I constantly heard people saying that famous line, do for others what you would want done for you. What I didn’t hear was the fact that if you live by that rule, you will be living most of your life doing things for others and not getting the same in return. I find it hard to accept this fact even though I have witnessed it first-hand for years.
Recently I have come to realize that if we spend our lives with this wishful thinking that others are going to return our kindness, we are just going to end up sabotaging ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I completely agree with the saying do for others what you would want done for you and others like, pay it forward and kindness matters, but I also believe that there is a line that we need to draw for ourselves.
Let’s start talking about what you want to do; not what your parents, friends, or partner wants you to do or what they think will make you happy, but what you think will make you happy. Let’s stop depriving ourselves of our dreams because we might make someone else unhappy and let’s start making those dreams come true! We have to admit to ourselves that we can never truly make anyone else happy unless we make ourselves happy first. Do you ever notice how interactions are different when you are in a good mood versus when you are in a bad mood? You can force a smile and be polite all you want but when you aren’t happy you won’t be able to completely cover that up, so why keep forcing the smile when you can put a real one on your face?
What is the first thing that comes to mind when I ask, what makes you happy? Whatever it is, do it and then think of something else. Take at least a day out of your week to do whatever it is you want to do. Take that day to tell yourself today is my day and let nothing bring you down. Let people know that you are taking the day to yourself and you would appreciate their understanding. In the type of world we live in where we are constantly running around and depriving ourselves of food, sleep, and sometimes even personal hygiene, we deserve to give ourselves at least a day out of the week for complete serenity and happiness.
After you take a few of those me days I dare you to take it a step further and look at those big dreams you have for yourself. Make a list and actually check it off. Stop worrying so much about making everyone else happy and do it for yourself! There are so many moments where we choose to ignore our deepest desires and therefore we end up sabotaging our own happiness. It needs to end, we all need to start accepting ourselves and our dreams. We need to go toward them instead of away from them because of what if questions in the back of our minds and our concerns of how they may affect someone else. I am not saying to start being rude to our family and friends, but I am saying that sometimes we need to put ourselves first, act a little selfish, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We go day-in and day-out doing things for other people, now it is time to do some things for ourselves.
