At a school like Brigham Young University-Idaho, where it seems like every girl is desperate to get married, it's easy to feel like the other single women around you are your competition. And maybe this doesn't mean much coming from a married woman who no longer has to worry about finding the right guy, but I believe it sincerely needs to stop. It's been said before, by people who are much more articulate than me, but I feel that it needs to be said again: women need to stop seeing each other as enemies, and recognize the fact that we are
allies.
We need other women in our lives, setting good examples for us, building us up, and encouraging us to be the best that we can be. Without these positive female relationships in our lives right now, how can we expect to be good mothers, aunts, grandmothers or just an older, wiser example to girls in the future?
It's important to remember that when people talk about having healthy relationships, they are not just talking about romantic ones. The definition of the word relationship, according to Google, is: "the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected." Do you see anything about marriage or romance there? I don't. However, when we hear the word "relationship," we automatically tend to think of something romantic. But we cannot have successful romantic relationships without having successful friend and/or family relationships first. We talk all the time about needing to have a relationship with God, and that's not a romantic relationship. If we want to have the chance to build something lasting with a spouse, we need to first build solid relationships with others. It's that simple.
So the next time you see a girl who you think looks better than you, don't immediately decide that she's probably stupid, obsessed with her appearance or something equally unpleasant. Compliment her instead!
We need more women who are willing to recognize the greatness in other women, especially women we don't know well. It's easy to compliment friends or family, but it's much harder to sincerely compliment a total stranger. Yet every time I've done it, it's turned into a positive experience. In fact, many of the friends I've made in college started out with a compliment and a smile.
As cheesy as it sounds, I truly believe that we can change the world by building more positive relationships with others. This isn't a competition, ladies. If you think it is, you probably need to reexamine your priorities.
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Feminism Redefined
