One evening last week, my best friend and I were climbing the ridiculously steep road to the Alice in Wonderland Trails when we stumbled across two people meeting for the first time on a hiking date. We suspected they met through Tinder because they were both attractive and “I love hiking” is such a standard profile line, but really, who knows.
I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation, which went like this.
Girl: I don’t know, should we get tacos?
Boy: I mean, we could.
Girl: We could.
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: What do you want to do?
Boy: I don’t know…
Girl: …
Boy: …
Girl: Are you hungry?
Boy: I’m kinda hungry.
Girl: Yeah. But I’m not starving.
Boy: Same.
Girl: …
Boy: …
Girl: I don’t know.
Boy: I don’t know, either.
I couldn’t believe how hard of a decision this was for them. Go get some tacos! When have you ever regretted tacos? When has anyone—excluding allergies and food poisoning—regretted tacos?
It’s easy to say, “I don’t know.” I do it all the time. Sometimes I really don’t care and just want other people to be happy. Sometimes I do care, but I don’t want to take a position that others won’t like.
But one of the worst feelings is wondering what could have happened if you had said, “Yes.” Think of the experiences and the attitudes that a “Yes” gives you rather than an “I don’t know.”
Example: “Wow, tacos sound like a delicious and sexy compliment to this date we’re having. Let’s go to Agave right now!” Boom. You get a delicious meal instead of standing on a hill for an hour, trying to make a decision.
Even more important is the power of the “No.” If you don’t want to do something, you need to know that and communicate that to other people. This is a matter of sticking up for yourself, and it starts with making little decisions.
Example: “No, I actually don’t want to get tacos. They sound delicious, but I don’t want to have taco breath in case we make out.”
If you truly don’t know what you want, then spend some time figuring that out. Learn what you want and tell other people. Start taking charge and making the decisions that you want. Your voice needs to be heard.
