Being transparent about your emotions is no easy task. I’ve always been one to bottle things up, and it seems that recently, different media platforms have been telling people that's what’s “cool.” But here’s the thing: it’s not.

Some of my biggest regrets in life stem from my lack of emotional transparency. I have a real problem with being straightforward about what I’m feeling and there’s probably a million reasons for why that is, but that’s not the issue here. The issue is that we have different media outlets telling impressionable young minds that it’s cool, and even joke-worthy, to be emotionally closed off. Instead of the media using their power to promote healthy habits, like sharing how you feel, they make light of situations that people genuinely struggle with.

It’s easy to laugh at a tweet about being unable to open up to people because it’s relatable, but what isn’t funny is having relationships suffer because you aren’t able to communicate how much you care for a person. It seems as if social media today is taking real problems, like anxiety or emotional unavailability, and turning it into a trend. But what happens when this trend inevitably fades into obscurity? You’re left with a real issue and it’s no longer “cool,” so people are less accepting and understanding.

Like many people, this is an issue I really struggle with, and for the longest time, I capitalized on it. It was okay, cool even, to be the girl with no emotions. Yet, I’m realizing now I want so much more than that. The thing is, even when I claimed otherwise, I was feeling it all. The difference now is that I want to be open about it, and I want others to experience that with me. When I’m sad, I want to be surrounded by people I can go to and tell flat-out what’s got me down, not wait for someone to notice I’m not quite being myself.

When I’m happy, I want to radiate such happiness that people can’t help but feel the same thing; I want my happiness to be contagious. I’m so over people never knowing what I’m feeling; I want to be an open book in every way possible. This isn’t the kind of decision you make one day and suddenly everything changes; I have to actively work on myself to become the type of person I so badly want to be. I’m taking those baby steps, I’m telling people what I’m feeling in the moment instead of waiting until it has passed and I’m comfortable talking. Change isn’t comfortable, but boy is it worth it.