Men and boys. Just saying those words can spark so much emotion, whether it be love or hate, happy times and good times, smiles and tears. For some of us they are just a background thought and for others, they have become an area of such severe focus.

Whether it be a long time crush, a passing hotty, or a guy who has started to show you bits of kindness, it’s hard for some of us to not let these men or boys rule our thoughts and our days. This writing is for those of us that struggle not focusing on that guy, I am writing this because while they are a part of your life you have so many more important things to focus on. It’s time for you to take power of yourself back.

Let’s start with the most simple of ideas but one I feel always gets lost with so many people, you have so many more important things to focus on. Your career, whether you are aspiring to be a doctor or you are passionate about art, you have so much valuable energy that needs to be focused on your future and not just a man.

Trust me success and determination draws them in more than anything, so focus on yourself and let them come to you. Another important aspect to focus on is your health. Feeling anxious about a guy is super unhealthy and can cause you to get caught up in all kinds of nervousness and negative thoughts.

By eating healthy meals and getting a good amount of exercise you are filling your body with endorphins and general goodness. A healthy body relays into a healthy mindset.

And again, do it for yourself, not for anybody else. Your schoolwork also should be taking more of your time. Take pride in your readings, your note taking, your practices, and those late hours you stay up working on a project. All of it will add up and you will have nobody to thank for your determination but yourself.

If you have a hard time focusing on any of these, especially since they tend to be independent activities, go hang out with your friends and family. Catch a movie, go out to dinner, have a cookie baking night, these are the people who are with you because they love you and you have nothing else to work for from them.

That is one of the most beautiful kinds of relationships in the world, the ones from the people who choose to be surrounded by your amazing aura.

I’m not telling you not to put yourself out there, flirt a little, and go on dates. But in a world of Tinder and Bumble, social media bombardments, ad #nationalboyfriendday, it’s hard to not get caught up in pleasing the opposite gender. But remember, if he wants you he better flipping come get you.

You are a force of nature, a powerful woman, a personality unlike any other, you are unlike any other. You must never diminish the possibilities this world has for you simply because you are stuck on some guy. It’s not always easy, but in the end, you will thank yourself.

After all the right guy will come along, but he generally comes when you least expect it. Work hard and strive for the best, because you certainly deserve it.