As a child I always had a crazy imagination. I would write stories and my favorite part was creating the characters, because you could make them any way you wanted, they could be just how you wanted them to be. I think sometimes we do that with people. We become overwhelmed, in a good way with the idea of someone and fail to see who they really are.
We're all searching and longing for that feeling. Even if we pretend we're not. A feeling that's real. The one that doesn't come around too often. I think it's so scarce that we start to make it up in our minds. We create these ideas of people, we make them into something they're not.
We take all these moments and memories and store them so close to our hearts, when they don't belong there. Stop letting these people into your heart that don't deserve it. Stop letting people into your heart who aren't meant to be there.
What's scary is I think the idea of someone seems to be the best part. Just like how developing the characters is the coolest part about writing a story. We control all our thoughts and tend to dismiss the ones we don't like. We are constantly falling in love with ideas, we're falling in love with the idea of being in love, with the idea of being wanted. We might even sit up at night thinking of someone, glorifying their every action when they don't deserve it. We cling onto meaningless words, and give them wonderful meanings. We take something mediocre and make it wonderful for ourselves, because we want it to be wonderful. We want it to be all these things that it's not. We fall in love with the idea of someone.
An idea can't hurt you. An idea can't wake up one day and decide they don't want you anymore. An idea can't disregard your feelings and only think about their own. It can't decline your call, it can't say something you don't want to hear. An idea can't kiss someone else when the music is loud and the alcohol's strong. An idea can't break your heart, an idea has no power over you.
But an idea can't send a rush through your bones. It can't smile back at you as you sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs from the passengers seat. It can't hold you at night and fall asleep to your heartbeat. It can't laugh with you or eat half of your fries no matter how much that annoys you. An idea can't listen to you talk about what you love the most, an idea can't be something you love the most.
We fall in love with ideas because they're safe. They're our own and no one else's. They can't hurt you, but they can't teach you, they can't help you grow, you'll never learn. An idea can't destroy you, but it can't love you either.
