Recently, as I scroll through Facebook, I've seen an overwhelming amount of "love yourself" propaganda. We are currently living in a society in which we need so much self validation, that our only option is to preach the term "loving yourself" or saying that "choosing yourself" is of the utmost importance. You can't be in a relationship until you "love yourself" and I so agree with that idea, but what I disagree with is what we have turned that concept into. Now we can do anything without "loving yourself" from being friends with someone, getting a job or even just living life, because we are so selfishly putting ourselves before everyone else.
It took me a long time to realize I am adamantly against the concept of loving yourself before anyone else, because I feel as if that should be a given. Of course, you should not let someone treat you like shit. Of course you should know you're important. Of course you should know your loved, and wanted, and needed- but we constantly need this validation which is where the concept of loving yourself so deeply you exclude everyone else came from. It's hard to write without experience and it's hard to see where people are coming from if you haven't lived the scenario firsthand. It's impossible to be in a relationship if you love yourself before you love anyone else because you are essentially putting yourself before that other person.
Coming from someone with an ex who was dead set on "working on himself" before he worked on anyone else, I call bullshit on the concept. Being with someone should make you want to work on yourself, with that other person in your life. News flash- unless you are Jesus Christ himself, you cannot figure out everything on your own. You need different people in your life, you need other voices and reasonings, and you need others to raise you up and help you when your down. When you push every single one of those people out of your life, I hope you have "worked on yourself" enough to be happy alone.
And do not get me wrong, I am a feminist. I believe I do not need a man and can be happy alone, but that is completely beside my point. I believe you need others in your life, regardless if it is in an emotional, sexual, or just presence way. You can't do it alone but our society has assured you if you want to do anything you need to love yourself first!!!!!!!!
Well here's the god honest truth- I don't completely love myself. I have my flaws.
I'm crazy and not in the cute way, in the burn your house down way.
I'm over bearing and think my opinion is superior to everyone else's.
I'm not a 10, I'm a 6 1/2, maybe a 7 when I actually brush my hair.
But I have good qualities as well,
I'm a 10/10 friend.
I'm funny, and can make you laugh even after you fail your exam.
I'm beyond caring and will let everyone in my life I do care about know it.
And I love the flaws and the good qualities, and don't need anyone to validate that. But what is the good in those qualities if I'm only "loving myself?" Aren't those qualities only useful if other people can live with them too? Regardless if this applies to you in a friendship, family, or relationship way just remember loving only yourself so deeply you forget about others is skirting the point completely.