As an educator, I have always been attracted to learning new and exciting things. I have two masters degrees, and I am looking forward to obtaining my Ph.D within the next five years. I love to travel and meet new people. I am open to learning about different religions and the various aspects of an individual’s spirituality. I see life for the most part as being concrete; however, many parts of it are abstract.
Our state of intellect happens to be abstract. Human intelligence is a mental quality that consists of the abilities to learn from experience, adapt to new situations, understand and handle abstract concepts, and use knowledge to manipulate one’s environment. Maybe I am weird, but I think human intelligence is so sexy!
I have always thought of men, women, and children as being sexual beings; even though, we all tend to tap into our sexual state at different times. In so many realms, including sexuality, so much of who we are has its roots in our childhood. What happened during our childhoods serves as a foundation of who we are, especially in connection with intimacy. Much depends upon our relationship with the opposite sex parent, our first love experience, and first intimate encounter. Perhaps what we look for in a partner is what we always wanted in ourselves. It also might be the catalyst or portal to knowledge of our deeper selves.
I tapped into my sexuality as a child. I noticed early on that people looked, smelled, talked, moved, etc. differently than me. I found myself drawn to individuals who could enlighten me about new and exciting things. I craved wisdom. Small talk and chitter-chatter always annoyed me, which is why I never watched a lot of television.
As I aged, I noticed that I began paying more and more attention to the mannerisms of men and women alike. I am heterosexual, but intelligent women have always stimulated me. We are all physical creatures, but I desired more than what met the eyes. For example, my mother is a beautiful woman, but she has always displayed a high level of wisdom and intelligence. She raised five children with my father, but she was never solely dependent on him. She had a sense of direction and was capable of surviving on her own. Her money management skills were impeccable. Her credit rating was immaculate.
Watching her as a child made me thirst to one day have this same trait. In the process of being groomed for this added quality, I picked up the desire for the opposite sex to have it too. I wanted to be able to share my intelligence with my significant other and allow him to bounce his intelligence back to me. I couldn’t describe exactly what it was that I desired for many years. Needless to say, I knew I wasn’t getting it from the partners I encountered. Their desires to talk about things that were of no importance to me bored me and also made me become severely annoyed.
Looking back on my relationships with men, I realize that I have always been attracted to intelligent men, but there was a downfall to this. Most of the time, these men were significantly older than me, and the relationships were doomed to end because many of the things they had experienced in life, I hadn’t. I wasn't willing to compromise my youth and individuality.
Recently, I was sitting in my Comp I class, and one of my students was talking about new-age dating. She said, “I am a sapiosexual.” The term immediately caught my attention. I wanted to know more about it. Of course, she explained her version of the definition, but I wanted to do research on my own. I wanted to clearly understand this "new" term. I had never heard of it before. I couldn’t wait to get home and begin my search!
My research yielded that the term matched what I had been describing for years. Those who are sapiosexual are those who are stimulated or challenged by the way another person thinks. They are basically in love with the mind. Sometimes, sapiosexual individuals have also been called “nymphobrainiacs,” or individuals who find it arousing to engage with the intellectual perspective of another person.
Now that I understood there was a term to describe my feelings, I was more eager to connect with a significant other who was also a sapiosexual. It didn’t take long. Once I positioned myself to attract men to stimulate me intellectually, my world turned upside down. Our ability to connect intellectually led to me having more fulfilled intimacy.
