“Why are you still single?”
“Aren’t you lonely?”
“You should get into a relationship.”
“You’ll be a happier person.”
“You should date.”
“Is there something wrong with you?”
These are the questions I get asked by not only friends and family, but also strangers I come in contact with. It drives me insane to have to justify why I want to be single. I hate having to argue why being single is better for me at this age than being in a relationship.
The truth of the matter is, I’m selfish. I want my money, my time and my attention to be directed and spent on me. I don’t want to worry about someone else’s needs because I don’t have time for that. I barely have enough time and money to invest in myself, so how am I supposed to do that with someone else in the picture?
This is not a bad thing. At my age, I feel like it would only be appropriate to focus on myself. Having someone else in my life would just be a distraction.
I’m not saying everyone in my age group shouldn’t be in a relationship. I know plenty of people who are in healthy (and not so healthy) relationships and that’s okay. To each their own, but I am not interested in being in one.
As a matter of fact, relationships have never really appealed to me. I would observe my friends' relationships and all I would see was the emotional and physical pain relationships caused. I would see how obsessed and possessive they would become. They wanted to be with each other every moment of every day. Watching them constantly call or text each other during class or make out in front of everyone sickened me.
This isn’t because I’m a bitter person, but because observing everything made me feel claustrophobic.
I used to think, “Let her/him breathe! Give them some time on their own!”
Not all relationships are like this of course, but after analyzing the relationships I’m exposed to daily, I decided I don’t want those to happen to me. I don’t want to feel suffocated in my own relationship nor do I want to be texted or called every day.
I live for the time I get to have for myself. It allows me to get more of a sense of who I am without someone else. This gives me a chance to develop who I am as a person, so when the time finally comes for me to be in a relationship, I will have more to offer. I know my thoughts will eventually change, and when they do, that’s how I know I will be ready.
There is a ton of pressure to get into relationships. Some family members might pressure you to go out on dates because they don’t want you to be alone, or some of our friends might be in happy relationships and tell you it would be good for you to be in one. Even the media pressures us because we constantly see happy couples in movies, TV shows and music videos. Some of us want that. We want to be believe love is going to save us, but in reality, we are the only ones who can save ourselves.
To anyone who believes I should be in a relationship, I say:
This isn’t your life. This is mine and I will live it the way I want to. Let me be single.
