Everyday I log onto Facebook or Instagram, and I swear that every time, one of my friends has started dating someone new or they’re “finally” engaged to their “significant other”. Then, there’s me-- sitting in front of the computer screen, single like a priest, only I haven’t taken vows of celibacy, but for some reason, fate has made me follow them.
Sometimes, I’m extremely happy for my friends who truly have found the love of their life. Other times, I’m insanely jealous of the forming relationships because it’s a guy or girl that I was admiring from afar. Still, there are times when I’m dumbfounded by the couples that meet, date and eventually get engaged because the marriage feels rushed or even forced. I feel uncomfortable when people from my high school (which we graduated from less than two years ago) change their relationship status to “engaged”.
Why is everybody so eager to get a ring by spring when I just want some pay by May? I think it’s because there's a stigma around being single in your 30's-- even in your 20s. The movies, books and every other form of entertainment that we’re given is about finding and falling in love. Because the media emphasizes this pressure to meet the love of your life as soon as possible, it translates into society.
I cannot come home without hearing the fatal question from one of my relatives: Who are you dating? Not to mention that your parents always annoy you with questions about when they’ll finally get grandbabies. Next time your mom is ambushing you with questions about why you don’t have a boyfriend yet, tell her that your reproductive organs aren’t going to expire as quickly as the milk in the refrigerator.
Anyway, most people become victims to this never-ending cycle of forcing a love story in their life with the first person that reciprocates their admiration. Dating has died because of this, and it’s been replaced with a few hookups that turn into a mediocre relationship, and eventually become a somewhat (if at all) satisfying marriage. People aren’t willing to wait for that person that would love them with all of their heart and then some.
Although I believe that we were created to love, I don’t think that it’s limited to romantic affection to be directed at one individual forever. Marriage can be a beautiful institution, but there are other ways to share our love. I want people to fall in love-- Fall in love with nature; fall in love with your career; fall in love with some really close friends or your family; fall in love with God or whatever you believe in. Don’t just focus on falling in love with your soulmate because there is so much more to fall in love with.
I’m not saying that weddings are evil. I myself still plan on getting married one day, but if you happen to be single when you’re 30, don’t think that you’ve failed. When all of your friends are getting married, remember that you’re saving your love for someone or something amazing. Don’t feel outcasted if you’re single, because even though there is a stigma surrounding it, finding a soulmate isn’t your sole purpose. You will find love in one form or another, and who knows? Maybe it will be a soulmate.
