As a female college student who has been in my fair share of relationships, complicated or not, I have a few complaints. It has come to my attention that as the girl in any romantic relationship, I am expected to act a certain way and require a certain amount of attention and affection from my boyfriend, or I just might spontaneously combust or something. I have never really considered myself the stereotypical hopeless romantic type, but no matter how "non-gushy" I am, I still don't believe that other girls should accept and glorify the obnoxious behavior they are expected to display when in a relationship.
The idea that all girls in a relationship are clingy, insecure, and virtually dependent on their boyfriends is basically all wrong and quite offensive. As far as relationships go, I am far from the Vine stereotyping girl who stalks her boyfriend’s Instagram "likes" and wants to know who that girl is whose picture you just double tapped. We aren’t all insecure enough to lose it when we notice you noticing other girls. In relationships where the roles are reversed, it is unbelievably exhausting to have someone that nosey and I would never wish it on my significant other.
The little facade about girls being overwhelmingly clingy and always needing their boyfriends around is also not always the case. Some of us enjoy time away from our significant others and don't not know what to do with ourselves when they're away. In my experience, some guys don’t even know what “space” is anymore, and it can be tiresome. Too many times I have read jabs or watched Vines where girlfriends cannot handle their boyfriends hanging out with their guy friends because they are not giving them enough attention. Since when did girls become utterly hopeless without their significant other there to cater to their every need?
We don’t all want to get married and have lots of pretty babies. Some of us would much rather do our own thing, and if our future and yours aren’t headed in the same direction, it’s not the end of the world. When I’m dating someone, I’m still thinking about me and where I want my career to take me, not how you are going to put food on the table and how many of your children I’ll carry. Don't just assume that because we like you that we already have our wedding planned and are just waiting for you to propose to us, we're freaked out by that whole lifetime commitment thing too.
We don't need/want/expect you to buy us things. As far as I'm concerned, the idea that "diamonds are a girl's best friend" is a little outdated and the joke about girls always hoping for you to buy them jewelry or even chocolates or flowers isn't always accurate. Sure, if you buy us things, we'll appreciate it, but stop insinuating that if you don't regularly pamper us with gifts and/or compliments that we'll assume you're cheap and heartless and drown ourselves in chocolate.
We aren't all indecisive, some of us know exactly what we want; whether it be with you, for our future, or where we want to go for dinner. Somewhere in the mess of stereotypes, we apparently lost our ability to answer questions or make decisions for ourselves in the fear that you may not like our answers. Sure, sometimes we may not be as straight forward as we could be, but we know who we are and what we want, and we will get ourselves there.
We don’t always wait for you to text us. If I feel like texting you, I will. Simple as that. If you don't text me, I'll assume you're busy. I do not constantly stare at my phone, wondering why you haven't updated me on your every move throughout the day and no, I don't assume it's because you're cheating on me.
Of course, there will always be girlfriends somewhere that fit those stereotypes perfectly, and at least you're probably prepared for them. But, don't make the mistake of assuming that your girlfriend is insecure and that your every move is under surveillance. Sure, sometimes we can be clingy, but bunching all of us up together in this clump of obnoxious hot messes is more hurtful than you sneaking away for a guy's night and not texting us updates, I promise.
